Day 1 - Doing it for me

Today is a monumental day for me. I am coming back from the dead - or so it feels like. I have just returned from taking my first Tae Kwon Do class and it was truly amazing. While I have fleeting pangs of guilt from committing to an activity that takes me away from home (and my 3 year old daughter) twice per week, I feel like a part of me that died long ago has awakened.

I have lived the last 3 years of my life dedicated to my work, my family and managing life with a kidney disease with no cure - Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). I have allowed these "labels" to define me. I've experienced defeat and pain that I didn't know was possible - and remained in that place for far too long. The agony of defeat can really change a person. I know this because I am so changed that I don't even recognize who I am any longer. And actually ... expanding any further on this is a different post altogether, and not one that I will tackle today.

Back to tonight ...

When I sat in front of my new sacred place, the dojo where I will train each week, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched a class full of black belts (varying degrees) sparring, practicing forms, and perfecting their kicks, blocks and hand strikes. I was in awe and made a commitment to myself in that moment. I will not quit. I will live in the spirit of Tae Kwon Do and the principles that Tae Kwon Do is built upon: discipline, honor, respect, courtesy, self control, integrity and the pursuit of excellence. The goal for most is to achieve the black belt. For me, it is the pursuit of personal excellence.

My first class was amazing. My instructor and 4 other students were extremely supportive. I was thrown right into the mix of what the class is already working toward. The thrill of the night was a moment when I practiced a hand strike that enabled me to break a board on the first strike. On the outside I kept my composure while on the inside I was screaming, "You go, girl!!!" I can't wait to go back Wednesday.

Tonight I am alive again! And now I'll sign off so that I can research Songahm Tae Kwon Do to learn more about the history of my sport. (God, it feels great to say something like that!)

Kyung Yeh (Korean for "bow"),

Dedie

P.S. My husband just walked by, stopped, backed up and told me how sexy I am in my uniform (dobak). What a bonus that I had not considered before!!!