I was supposed to be in class last night. Didn't happen. I couldn't even get out of a chair (or walk up/down stairs) without intense pain shooting through both quadraceps. I feel like I've blown the muscles in each of my top legs. My ass muscles hurt, too, but I can handle that. The quads are a completely different level of pain that I've only experienced once before in my lifetime of working out and challenging myself physically and mentally. My sweet husband was so great in helping me. He massaged my muscles with Icy Hot (ouch, ouch!) and ran a hot bath in our jacuzzi tub. He has been amazing in his support of my aspirations in TKD.
I truly planned on being in class last night, but I didn't want to show up and truly injure myself. In addition, I didn't want my instructor to think that I wasn't giving it my all or doing my best. I called and left word with a jr. instructor. Mr. Frieberg called back - he was disappointed in my choice to stay home. He encouraged me to attend the Thursday lunch class.
I rearranged my schedule to attend the Thursday lunch class. I am truly glad that I followed through on my commitment - both to Mr. Freiberg and to myself. I got to class early, stretched and warmed up. Class Began. There were no other white belts - everyone outranked me. I don't know why I always notice this. It really doesn't make any difference.
We worked on conditioning, punching with partners on the big bags and I once again discovered that my punches are much more powerful than even the black belt women. The men and Mr. Freiberg really take notice. I think it's because I was raised in the country - country girls ROCK!!!
I didn't go full force on my kicks - my legs would not allow me to. Working through the pain was great mentally. I was competing with myself today. I sweat my ass off.
We did floor work today to isolate and work the muscles required for hook kicks and back kicks. I need to do this on my own - ALOT. My quads, gluteus muscles and hip flexors really got some conditioning today. I can see why my kicks need work. These muscles need developing something fierce. If I can really perfect these floor exercises, I'll be able to demonstrate a great deal of control in my kicking forms and precision.
Lastly, I worked on my Poomse, or form. I now know the 23 moves of Songahm 2. I really enjoy the mental and physical aspects of performing my form. I would like to compete in forms to see how I stack up against others in my belt and peer groupings. I would also like to compete in sparring in the same.
When I left class today, I felt like a winner. I worked through the pain and had an outstanding class where I gave it my all. I did my best and it feels AWESOME!!!
Outside of class, a female black belt stopped me to tell me how great she thought I was doing. She told me that I would be her instructor one day. OMG!!!!!!!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sparring!!!
Last week was rough. I was down in the dumps and had a really hard time pulling myself out. I did what I said I would never do. I let my outside "junk" (work and other issues) get in the way of my success in my Tae Kwon Do classes. I left with tears in my eyes last Wednesday. I then sat in the parking lot and cried until there was nothing left. It's hard to go through what I've been through and be 100% okay. The great news is that those days used to be every day and now are only every now and then. Time does seem to heal this pain for me.
Tonight I was determined to reclaim my "kick ass" attitude in class. The dojang is, after all, my sanctuary. I have found a purpose there that truly is transforming me inside and out.
During class today, I aced my Poomse - form - Songahm 2. I am tweaking the minute details and am preparing to test for my yellow belt. I watched a black belt perform her forms before class and she was absolutely incredible. Words to describe her execution: crisp, powerful, precise, high kicks, her dobak popped with kicks, control, perfect eye contact, rhythmic, fun to watch. That's how I want to execute my forms.
Tonight my instructor threw me into the sparring ring. He told me to fully gear up, and I was terrified. Hell - I've never even tried my sparring pads on before! I thought sparring would be months away. Nevertheless, I got in that ring and did my best. I thought that I didn't know enough, however, I underestimated what I've been practicing these last 4 weeks. I sparred against a green belt and won!!!!! I discovered that I REALLY like sparring. I got kicked and hit a few times pretty hard, but I can definitely take it. I can also dish it. My favorite part about sparring is the intense mental focus on strategy that one has to exhibit. I was constantly calculating where my opponent would make the next move. I blocked and counter kicked and then followed immediately with a punch combo. I sweat my ass off. It was so incredibly cool.
Then, to finish class, (after forms and before sparring we worked with our weapons) a young black belt ran us through conditioning. It sucked. He had us jumping like frogs with our butts practically touching the floor and then jumping as high as we could - back & forth, back & forth - I can't even recall how many times we did this until adding series of walking lunges paired with those crazy frog jumps. My legs were buckling under me.
Tonight is Monday. Wednesday will suck. I'm sure that I'll feel like I've been in a car wreck!
Kihap!
Dedie
Tonight I was determined to reclaim my "kick ass" attitude in class. The dojang is, after all, my sanctuary. I have found a purpose there that truly is transforming me inside and out.
During class today, I aced my Poomse - form - Songahm 2. I am tweaking the minute details and am preparing to test for my yellow belt. I watched a black belt perform her forms before class and she was absolutely incredible. Words to describe her execution: crisp, powerful, precise, high kicks, her dobak popped with kicks, control, perfect eye contact, rhythmic, fun to watch. That's how I want to execute my forms.
Tonight my instructor threw me into the sparring ring. He told me to fully gear up, and I was terrified. Hell - I've never even tried my sparring pads on before! I thought sparring would be months away. Nevertheless, I got in that ring and did my best. I thought that I didn't know enough, however, I underestimated what I've been practicing these last 4 weeks. I sparred against a green belt and won!!!!! I discovered that I REALLY like sparring. I got kicked and hit a few times pretty hard, but I can definitely take it. I can also dish it. My favorite part about sparring is the intense mental focus on strategy that one has to exhibit. I was constantly calculating where my opponent would make the next move. I blocked and counter kicked and then followed immediately with a punch combo. I sweat my ass off. It was so incredibly cool.
Then, to finish class, (after forms and before sparring we worked with our weapons) a young black belt ran us through conditioning. It sucked. He had us jumping like frogs with our butts practically touching the floor and then jumping as high as we could - back & forth, back & forth - I can't even recall how many times we did this until adding series of walking lunges paired with those crazy frog jumps. My legs were buckling under me.
Tonight is Monday. Wednesday will suck. I'm sure that I'll feel like I've been in a car wreck!
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Taking Inventory - End of 3rd Week
Flexibility - much improved. Mr. Freiberg noticed tonight.
Power - very good. I can hit like the boys. I have powerful right kicks. Mr. Freiberg comments on my power. Other students comment on my power.
Ambidexterity - I need to work on my left kicks. I struggle with good form and proper execution of my left kicks.
Weapon - I suck. I've got to work on being more ambidextrous. I can see that this could be an area where I'll have to work very hard.
Poomse (forms) - Talented here. I do them well, execute crisply with intention. My dobak even snaps with my front kick and my punches!
Agility/Speed - nonexistent. I'm slow. I have to continue to lose weight to lighten up. I think plyometrics will help my fast twitch muscles perform better. Right now I'd get my ass kicked in any sparring match. I would only be able to count on landing a punch or kick, which could hurt them. But if I didn't, I'm toast!
Mental Acuity - nonexistent. Tonight I couldn't shake work. I couldn't concentrate. I violated my oath because I was not focused and didn't do my best.
Going to bed and no spirit left to Kihap,
Dedie
Power - very good. I can hit like the boys. I have powerful right kicks. Mr. Freiberg comments on my power. Other students comment on my power.
Ambidexterity - I need to work on my left kicks. I struggle with good form and proper execution of my left kicks.
Weapon - I suck. I've got to work on being more ambidextrous. I can see that this could be an area where I'll have to work very hard.
Poomse (forms) - Talented here. I do them well, execute crisply with intention. My dobak even snaps with my front kick and my punches!
Agility/Speed - nonexistent. I'm slow. I have to continue to lose weight to lighten up. I think plyometrics will help my fast twitch muscles perform better. Right now I'd get my ass kicked in any sparring match. I would only be able to count on landing a punch or kick, which could hurt them. But if I didn't, I'm toast!
Mental Acuity - nonexistent. Tonight I couldn't shake work. I couldn't concentrate. I violated my oath because I was not focused and didn't do my best.
Going to bed and no spirit left to Kihap,
Dedie
Monday, March 17, 2008
Blue Stripe!!!!!!!!!
My hands are shaking as I'm typing this. I just got home from the dojang. Mr. Freiberg left after the black belt class (right before my class), and entrusted our training to another black belt. I've seen this black belt before, however, he's never taught one of my classes.
There were only 3 of us tonight. Myself (white belt), a blue belt older male (probably late '40's) and another blonde white belt female. She was cute and very girlie. I've tried SO hard not to be the stereotypical girlie girl blonde chick thus far, because I know that it's what every guy and brunette female is expecting me to be. I enter the dojang each class with my game face on and I never break. The instructor kept putting us females together and spent the majority of his drills with the blue belt male. He never came to watch our form. I think a smarter pairing would have been to mix us so that there was a beginner and a higher belt for each pair. It was frustrating and I was getting pissed, but trying to exercise self control - since it's one of the martial arts principles and something that I need to work on.
This instructor put us on the stationary kicking/punching bags and had us working on our board breaking kicks. He drilled us again and again. I loved this part.
He then paired us to work on sparring and weapons. He paired with me - which is what I was asking for - right? - and drove me into the ground. He was tough, had little patience and transitioned so quickly. Granted this is my 5th class, so I feel like I'm working overtime mentally just to keep up. I desperately want to excel. I know that I think too much.
He asks if we can stay late and we all agree. My instructor then proceeds to drilling us with partner situps with medicine balls, pushups, running drills, more situps and more push ups. At this point, I'm so thankful that I've been training at home each day or it would have been so embarrassing for me. I looked in the mirror and my face was so red! I was determined to stay the course and keep up. Inside, though, I wanted to cry from being pissed at myself. HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET OUT OF SHAPE LIKE THIS? He lectured us continuously on how our excellent forms, execution of kicks and punches, and flexibility don't matter if we aren't in cardiovascular shape to stay in the fight. While I know that he's absolutely right, it hurts to hear the truth.
At the end of class, I was wringing wet. I have never attended a class and gotten this much workout. I also felt mentally broken. This instructor took away any confidence that I had. I felt like I knew nothing and was out of my league. Then something amazing happened.
He called me over and put a blue stripe on my belt. When I asked what that stood for, he told me that he saw me demonstrate a commitment to belief. He said that I could say that I believe in many things: my country, my relationships, my work; however, I could not believe in anything, really, until I believe in myself. He then said that he was proud of me.
I drove home and thought through tonight realizing that my blue stripe needs to be a physical reminder to me of humility. I got a big dose tonight. Part of me wanted to quit, but I will persevere. When I want to quit, I will look at that blue stripe and kick harder - punch harder - train harder - to be my personal best.
Kihap!
Dedie
There were only 3 of us tonight. Myself (white belt), a blue belt older male (probably late '40's) and another blonde white belt female. She was cute and very girlie. I've tried SO hard not to be the stereotypical girlie girl blonde chick thus far, because I know that it's what every guy and brunette female is expecting me to be. I enter the dojang each class with my game face on and I never break. The instructor kept putting us females together and spent the majority of his drills with the blue belt male. He never came to watch our form. I think a smarter pairing would have been to mix us so that there was a beginner and a higher belt for each pair. It was frustrating and I was getting pissed, but trying to exercise self control - since it's one of the martial arts principles and something that I need to work on.
This instructor put us on the stationary kicking/punching bags and had us working on our board breaking kicks. He drilled us again and again. I loved this part.
He then paired us to work on sparring and weapons. He paired with me - which is what I was asking for - right? - and drove me into the ground. He was tough, had little patience and transitioned so quickly. Granted this is my 5th class, so I feel like I'm working overtime mentally just to keep up. I desperately want to excel. I know that I think too much.
He asks if we can stay late and we all agree. My instructor then proceeds to drilling us with partner situps with medicine balls, pushups, running drills, more situps and more push ups. At this point, I'm so thankful that I've been training at home each day or it would have been so embarrassing for me. I looked in the mirror and my face was so red! I was determined to stay the course and keep up. Inside, though, I wanted to cry from being pissed at myself. HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET OUT OF SHAPE LIKE THIS? He lectured us continuously on how our excellent forms, execution of kicks and punches, and flexibility don't matter if we aren't in cardiovascular shape to stay in the fight. While I know that he's absolutely right, it hurts to hear the truth.
At the end of class, I was wringing wet. I have never attended a class and gotten this much workout. I also felt mentally broken. This instructor took away any confidence that I had. I felt like I knew nothing and was out of my league. Then something amazing happened.
He called me over and put a blue stripe on my belt. When I asked what that stood for, he told me that he saw me demonstrate a commitment to belief. He said that I could say that I believe in many things: my country, my relationships, my work; however, I could not believe in anything, really, until I believe in myself. He then said that he was proud of me.
I drove home and thought through tonight realizing that my blue stripe needs to be a physical reminder to me of humility. I got a big dose tonight. Part of me wanted to quit, but I will persevere. When I want to quit, I will look at that blue stripe and kick harder - punch harder - train harder - to be my personal best.
Kihap!
Dedie
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Tae Kwon Do & PKD
As I've been working on my flexibility, I've started setting some goals. I want to be able to do the splits 3 ways: right leg in front, left leg in front and the middle splits. So far I've got the left leg in front down and almost have my right leading leg split down. The middle split is something different altogether. I can sit on the floor with my legs out in a "V", lean over touching toes and put my chest flat to the floor, but that doesn't matter in Tae Kwon Do. If I can achieve my middle splits, my kicks will be amazing.
I'm also trying to get back my gymnastics. I can do handstands, roundoffs, front walk overs - all kinds of stuff that most 38 year-olds can't. What I want to achieve is my back handspring - or a flipflop (what we called that in the '80'). In order to start working on this, I've been trying to work on my backbend. This used to be an everyday thing for me. I guess I haven't tried doing backbends since I got pregnant. I know that I did them frequently before pregnancy, because I did them in yoga - or a type of one. Here's where it gets weird.
When I do a backbend now, my body feels FREAKY. I can feel my kidneys from the fact that they are growing larger from having PKD. In my last ultrasound, my left kidney was over 17 cm. My right kidney is the smaller of the two, measuring at 16 cm. Even though the right is smaller, it's the one that is the most painful. When I do a backbend now, my kidneys feel like two water balloons in my back. I can feel them pushing into my other organs. It sucks. It's also painful.
For now, I'm going to stick to the splits, doing great kicks and learn to "sting like a bee" when I punch. I overheard my instructor telling a black belt student in class that I punched unusually hard. I liked that. When I punch that bag or target, I am punching out all of the shit that I've been through over the last 3 years. It's the most cleansing thing that I've felt in a long time.
Today I picked out a stationary punching/kicking bag for my garage. It's starting to look like a dojang in there!!! :-)
Joey, my awesome husband, is incredibly supportive and has also purchased punching gloves on his own! It see some sparring in our future!!!
Class is tomorrow, so I need some sleep.
Kihap!
Dedie
I'm also trying to get back my gymnastics. I can do handstands, roundoffs, front walk overs - all kinds of stuff that most 38 year-olds can't. What I want to achieve is my back handspring - or a flipflop (what we called that in the '80'). In order to start working on this, I've been trying to work on my backbend. This used to be an everyday thing for me. I guess I haven't tried doing backbends since I got pregnant. I know that I did them frequently before pregnancy, because I did them in yoga - or a type of one. Here's where it gets weird.
When I do a backbend now, my body feels FREAKY. I can feel my kidneys from the fact that they are growing larger from having PKD. In my last ultrasound, my left kidney was over 17 cm. My right kidney is the smaller of the two, measuring at 16 cm. Even though the right is smaller, it's the one that is the most painful. When I do a backbend now, my kidneys feel like two water balloons in my back. I can feel them pushing into my other organs. It sucks. It's also painful.
For now, I'm going to stick to the splits, doing great kicks and learn to "sting like a bee" when I punch. I overheard my instructor telling a black belt student in class that I punched unusually hard. I liked that. When I punch that bag or target, I am punching out all of the shit that I've been through over the last 3 years. It's the most cleansing thing that I've felt in a long time.
Today I picked out a stationary punching/kicking bag for my garage. It's starting to look like a dojang in there!!! :-)
Joey, my awesome husband, is incredibly supportive and has also purchased punching gloves on his own! It see some sparring in our future!!!
Class is tomorrow, so I need some sleep.
Kihap!
Dedie
Friday, March 14, 2008
Epiphany
Here's the deal. I've wasted my money on so much crap to lose weight: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, starving, eating 1200 cals & 30 grams of fat each day, no carbs, going vegetarian (lacto/ovo), weight loss hypnosis, Slim Fast, Fat Burners GALORE .... and on and on ... etc. etc. etc. I could not figure out WHY I have been so obsessed with food. Tonight I have FINALLY figured it out!!! Every time that I start another "program", I become even more obsessed with food than I already am - writing it all down, counting calories or this/that, going to meetings, going to weigh-ins, thinking about food practically every minute of the day. So, the constant obsession drives me to stressful overeating, rebellious overeating, and the kind of overeating that comes from the "screw it I'll just be fat and happy" attitude.
The perplexing thing is that I know that there were 13 years of my life where I was completely devoted to a fit lifestyle - from eating clean to enjoying daily intense and focused workouts. I thought that I had lost the ability to regain that discipline and focus. This internal struggle has been a true source of frustration and repeated disappointment for me. Quite frankly, though, I've not been able to get excited about any kind of physical activity - and boy have I tried! The 17 years that I taught aerobics and group exercise classes were the best years of my life - in terms of being passionate about physical activity, and being in the best mindset about eating for fuel (but not obsessing about it). I taught my last class in 2000.
Since starting Tae Kwon Do, I have tapped into that same place inside of me that gave me the passion and excitement of those 13 years of leading others in fitness. For the last 2 weeks, I haven't even thought about eating poorly, becasue I refuse to abuse my body with anything other than what will provide energy and nutrients to help me achieve my physical personal best for Tae Kwon Do. But the best news of all is that I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FOOD AT ALL! I have just completely lost the desire for the taste or emotion of food. I feel like I am free.
I am not going to endlessly weigh myself any longer. I am not going to be defined by a number on a scale. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to be the best me that I can be. My personal focus right now (aside from the obvious roles of wife/mother/etc) is to achieve milestones through my martial arts living - namely 1st degree black belt. The best thing about this goal is that the black belt is not the end, but merely the beginning in martial arts.
Kihap!
Dedie
The perplexing thing is that I know that there were 13 years of my life where I was completely devoted to a fit lifestyle - from eating clean to enjoying daily intense and focused workouts. I thought that I had lost the ability to regain that discipline and focus. This internal struggle has been a true source of frustration and repeated disappointment for me. Quite frankly, though, I've not been able to get excited about any kind of physical activity - and boy have I tried! The 17 years that I taught aerobics and group exercise classes were the best years of my life - in terms of being passionate about physical activity, and being in the best mindset about eating for fuel (but not obsessing about it). I taught my last class in 2000.
Since starting Tae Kwon Do, I have tapped into that same place inside of me that gave me the passion and excitement of those 13 years of leading others in fitness. For the last 2 weeks, I haven't even thought about eating poorly, becasue I refuse to abuse my body with anything other than what will provide energy and nutrients to help me achieve my physical personal best for Tae Kwon Do. But the best news of all is that I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FOOD AT ALL! I have just completely lost the desire for the taste or emotion of food. I feel like I am free.
I am not going to endlessly weigh myself any longer. I am not going to be defined by a number on a scale. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to be the best me that I can be. My personal focus right now (aside from the obvious roles of wife/mother/etc) is to achieve milestones through my martial arts living - namely 1st degree black belt. The best thing about this goal is that the black belt is not the end, but merely the beginning in martial arts.
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Breaking Boards & Humble Pie
Tonight was cool. I was the only girl in the dojang. I was also the only white belt. There were 2 other male students - both black. This is going to be interesting. It worked out well - the 2 black belts paired up together and I paired with the instructor the entire class for our pairing up drills. The class is geared to the highest level (we're the adult evening class), so I'm learning cool stuff that is usually not taught at the white belt level.
I've been feeling good - working out daily. I did research and found anaerobic and aerobic activities beneficial for martial arts. The best just also happens to be my favorite exercise to do - jumprope. I'm also doing jumping jacks, plyometric jumps of varying kinds, lifting light weights with high reps, push ups and lots of sit ups. Doing all of this in circuits keeps it fun and fresh.
My Songham 2 Form is coming along great. I worked on this again tonight. I do well in all of our kicking and punching drills. I broke a brown board tonight doing a right hand strike and then also on the left!!! Class was AMAZING up until this point.
Now for humble pie: The instructor decided for some crazy reason that I could spar him tonight. Are you serious - in my 3rd class? I don't even know anything yet!!! I sucked and felt like the biggest idiot. For the first time so far, I felt like a silly, stupid, clumsy girl and it totally sucked. I can't wait until I know what I'm doing.
On a personal note, I can already see the physical and emotional effects that these couple of weeks in Tae Kwon Do is already having in my life. I feel empowered, positive, energetic and very aware of the principals of martial arts: Honor, Integrity, Self Control, Courtesy, Respect, Loyalty. Those in my life are noticing, too!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
I've been feeling good - working out daily. I did research and found anaerobic and aerobic activities beneficial for martial arts. The best just also happens to be my favorite exercise to do - jumprope. I'm also doing jumping jacks, plyometric jumps of varying kinds, lifting light weights with high reps, push ups and lots of sit ups. Doing all of this in circuits keeps it fun and fresh.
My Songham 2 Form is coming along great. I worked on this again tonight. I do well in all of our kicking and punching drills. I broke a brown board tonight doing a right hand strike and then also on the left!!! Class was AMAZING up until this point.
Now for humble pie: The instructor decided for some crazy reason that I could spar him tonight. Are you serious - in my 3rd class? I don't even know anything yet!!! I sucked and felt like the biggest idiot. For the first time so far, I felt like a silly, stupid, clumsy girl and it totally sucked. I can't wait until I know what I'm doing.
On a personal note, I can already see the physical and emotional effects that these couple of weeks in Tae Kwon Do is already having in my life. I feel empowered, positive, energetic and very aware of the principals of martial arts: Honor, Integrity, Self Control, Courtesy, Respect, Loyalty. Those in my life are noticing, too!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Tough Morning ...
Having a disease with no cure is a weird thing. Usually I try not to think about having PKD - Polycystic Kidney Disease. I'm sure that most would call it denial, however, I just want to be "normal" and not let PKD define my life or who I am. The constant obsession over the realities of having PKD and what my future holds can be mentally exhausting. I choose to live my life in the now and in the positive.
However, today I was reading a wellness article on enzymes and started balling my eyes out. These emotions overwhelmed me within seconds of reading the word, "enzyme". Without getting into great detail about PKD, basically my body lacks an important enzyme, which is why I had that emotional response. I hate how emotional that I have become over the last 3 years of my life. I'm not sure if it's all that I've been through, child birth hormones that haven't left my body, or a combination thereof.
The bottom line: having PKD sucks. I'm going to workout to force some endorphines through my body. This will surely make me feel better. Is this a form of supression???
If you want to learn more about PKD, go to this link: www.pkdcure.org
However, today I was reading a wellness article on enzymes and started balling my eyes out. These emotions overwhelmed me within seconds of reading the word, "enzyme". Without getting into great detail about PKD, basically my body lacks an important enzyme, which is why I had that emotional response. I hate how emotional that I have become over the last 3 years of my life. I'm not sure if it's all that I've been through, child birth hormones that haven't left my body, or a combination thereof.
The bottom line: having PKD sucks. I'm going to workout to force some endorphines through my body. This will surely make me feel better. Is this a form of supression???
If you want to learn more about PKD, go to this link: www.pkdcure.org
Friday, March 7, 2008
"D" Day - Detox Day
Today is the first day of clean living for me. I have decided that if I am going to commit to a martial arts lifestyle, I can't comprise. Today I started a 10-day detox/cleanse from a program called, "Garden of Life." I know that this is going to be rough, but worth it in the end. I'm sure that I'll experience physiological signs of detox as I get off of refined sugars, caffeine (no more Starbuck's Frapps!), and processed foods. I'm sceptical about the whole idea of "detoxing", however, there is so much out in the naturopathic/wholistic industry about this, I'm going to see if I really do feel better (more energy, etc). This area of my life has not been under control for 10 years. I have got to exercise the greatest amount of discipline in order to succeed. I love to eat/drink everything that is harmful to me. I hope that through my commitment to martial arts, I'll find the desire to treat my body better - thus eating the right foods and eliminating alcohol.
Today I am also going to begin my new at home conditioning program. I have a great home gym that only gets used by my very sexy husband. He is so inspirational because he's 10 years older than me and looks my age. He has an immense commitment to himself in eating correctly and working out. I am always challenged by his unwavering commitment to personal growth and improvement. While I'm not making these life changes to please him, I hope that he does take notice. I want him to be proud of me.
I am combining aerobic conditioning with anaerobic conditioning. I love to jump rope (boxer style) and have discovered that this is one of the best conditioning activities for martial arts. By the way, one of the coolest jump ropes I've ever used is called the JUMP SNAP. It's a ropeless jumprope! It's hard to describe, so In addition to the picture above, I'm including the link: www.jumpsnap.com If you are into jumping rope and frustrated by the limitations of where you have to jump (due to your rope hitting stuff or you travel and want to jump in your hotel room ), or keep getting tripped up on your rope, check it out! One jump snap workout burns twice the calories in a 30 minute workout compared to the elyptical trainer, bicycle, and stair stepper, and burns 4 times calories walking on a treadmill at 4 mph!
This is my first priority as my weight and lack of aerobic capacity is definitely already hindering my abilities in the dojang. I was embarrassed by how much I huffed and puffed in my last class - only from doing 50 right and left consecutive round kicks to the pads. I'm also beginning weight training and practicing my forms each workout.
I wonder how long it will take for me to see results in my new lifestyle.
I'm off to drink some H20 and begin jumping!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
2nd Class Surprises
I am attending the Monday and Wednesday night sessions at my dojang. There was a complete new set of students in the Wednesday night class - totally different than the Monday night class. I don't know why, but this surprised me. I was also surprised that I didn't work on forms tonight. We worked how to escape a choke hold and how to put someone in a sleeper hold. We punched and kicked, did punch combo's and kick combos. We ended class with 50 round kicks per leg.
Did I mention that when I woke up today I felt like I'd been beat up from head to toe? I seriously can't find a muscle that did not hurt! Now back to class...
I realized that with different people in every class, this is very much a solo sport. There are no collaborative class goals. My progress, or lack thereof, totally rests with me. Martial Arts principles teach that the only competition lies within and striving for one's personal best each day. I'm so accustomed to competing against every peer - for grades in grad school, for the promotion at work, etc - that it's a mental struggle for me to be concerned with only myself in class. I have to constantly temper the urge that arises to be better than the higher belt lady next to me, or kick the pad like harder than the man in front of me. Through this realization alone, I know that I have so much to learn about living the principles and traditions of martial arts.
I desire to obtain the peaceful discipline of the black belts and wonder if I will ever achieve this in my life. Can a "Type A / high strung" personality truly live the martial arts principles for a sustained period of time? This is a question that I can't answer yet. Time will only tell.
I am truly thankful for this moment in my life. While the nights away from my family is a sacrifice, I think being a better "me" will enhance my ability to be a better wife and mother.
Kihap! (spirited yell in martial arts)
Dedie
Did I mention that when I woke up today I felt like I'd been beat up from head to toe? I seriously can't find a muscle that did not hurt! Now back to class...
I realized that with different people in every class, this is very much a solo sport. There are no collaborative class goals. My progress, or lack thereof, totally rests with me. Martial Arts principles teach that the only competition lies within and striving for one's personal best each day. I'm so accustomed to competing against every peer - for grades in grad school, for the promotion at work, etc - that it's a mental struggle for me to be concerned with only myself in class. I have to constantly temper the urge that arises to be better than the higher belt lady next to me, or kick the pad like harder than the man in front of me. Through this realization alone, I know that I have so much to learn about living the principles and traditions of martial arts.
I desire to obtain the peaceful discipline of the black belts and wonder if I will ever achieve this in my life. Can a "Type A / high strung" personality truly live the martial arts principles for a sustained period of time? This is a question that I can't answer yet. Time will only tell.
I am truly thankful for this moment in my life. While the nights away from my family is a sacrifice, I think being a better "me" will enhance my ability to be a better wife and mother.
Kihap! (spirited yell in martial arts)
Dedie
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Day 1 - Doing it for me
Today is a monumental day for me. I am coming back from the dead - or so it feels like. I have just returned from taking my first Tae Kwon Do class and it was truly amazing. While I have fleeting pangs of guilt from committing to an activity that takes me away from home (and my 3 year old daughter) twice per week, I feel like a part of me that died long ago has awakened.
I have lived the last 3 years of my life dedicated to my work, my family and managing life with a kidney disease with no cure - Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). I have allowed these "labels" to define me. I've experienced defeat and pain that I didn't know was possible - and remained in that place for far too long. The agony of defeat can really change a person. I know this because I am so changed that I don't even recognize who I am any longer. And actually ... expanding any further on this is a different post altogether, and not one that I will tackle today.
Back to tonight ...
When I sat in front of my new sacred place, the dojo where I will train each week, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched a class full of black belts (varying degrees) sparring, practicing forms, and perfecting their kicks, blocks and hand strikes. I was in awe and made a commitment to myself in that moment. I will not quit. I will live in the spirit of Tae Kwon Do and the principles that Tae Kwon Do is built upon: discipline, honor, respect, courtesy, self control, integrity and the pursuit of excellence. The goal for most is to achieve the black belt. For me, it is the pursuit of personal excellence.
My first class was amazing. My instructor and 4 other students were extremely supportive. I was thrown right into the mix of what the class is already working toward. The thrill of the night was a moment when I practiced a hand strike that enabled me to break a board on the first strike. On the outside I kept my composure while on the inside I was screaming, "You go, girl!!!" I can't wait to go back Wednesday.
Tonight I am alive again! And now I'll sign off so that I can research Songahm Tae Kwon Do to learn more about the history of my sport. (God, it feels great to say something like that!)
Kyung Yeh (Korean for "bow"),
Dedie
P.S. My husband just walked by, stopped, backed up and told me how sexy I am in my uniform (dobak). What a bonus that I had not considered before!!!
I have lived the last 3 years of my life dedicated to my work, my family and managing life with a kidney disease with no cure - Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). I have allowed these "labels" to define me. I've experienced defeat and pain that I didn't know was possible - and remained in that place for far too long. The agony of defeat can really change a person. I know this because I am so changed that I don't even recognize who I am any longer. And actually ... expanding any further on this is a different post altogether, and not one that I will tackle today.
Back to tonight ...
When I sat in front of my new sacred place, the dojo where I will train each week, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched a class full of black belts (varying degrees) sparring, practicing forms, and perfecting their kicks, blocks and hand strikes. I was in awe and made a commitment to myself in that moment. I will not quit. I will live in the spirit of Tae Kwon Do and the principles that Tae Kwon Do is built upon: discipline, honor, respect, courtesy, self control, integrity and the pursuit of excellence. The goal for most is to achieve the black belt. For me, it is the pursuit of personal excellence.
My first class was amazing. My instructor and 4 other students were extremely supportive. I was thrown right into the mix of what the class is already working toward. The thrill of the night was a moment when I practiced a hand strike that enabled me to break a board on the first strike. On the outside I kept my composure while on the inside I was screaming, "You go, girl!!!" I can't wait to go back Wednesday.
Tonight I am alive again! And now I'll sign off so that I can research Songahm Tae Kwon Do to learn more about the history of my sport. (God, it feels great to say something like that!)
Kyung Yeh (Korean for "bow"),
Dedie
P.S. My husband just walked by, stopped, backed up and told me how sexy I am in my uniform (dobak). What a bonus that I had not considered before!!!
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