It's been WAY too long since I've blogged. I even feel guilty about this. And it's kind of like that phone call that you need to make, but don't. So the longer you wait the more guilty you feel, yet you KNOW that you still need to make that call ... and you don't. It's classic procrastination, and I'm guilty.
I can't believe that my last post was May. I'm going to make a serious effort to keep regular posts coming. It's a great way to track my progress, a terrific outlet for me, and also WAY cheaper than a therapist! :-)
Well, here's my motivation for posting today ... I entered my first formal ATA TKD Victory Intra-School Tournament and took home 1st place in Sparring!!!
When I sat on the mat and waited for my group (which consisted of 9 opponents), I thought back to the first months of my TKD quest. It feels like forever ago, even though it's only been 6 months. These 6 months have been life changing for me. I've lost 25 pounds, gone down 2 dress sizes, gained muscle mass, flexibility, agility and I've regained confidence in myself. I feel like I've finally found something to be passionate about that put the zest back into my life. And quite frankly, I feel like I'm 20 years old again. My life is so much fun now!
It certainly hasn't been easy. Every week is filled with sweat, tears, bruises, blood, scrapes, pain beyond what I have ever imagined, frustration, wanting to quit sometimes, and it has been so worth it all!
Every time I step on that mat, I am fully aware that the only person that I'm really competing against is me. It's about always giving 100% (even when I don't feel like it), taking my successes to new heights and turning my failures into successes through intense focus, work and perseverance.
I've got so much to accomplish and to learn. It's the journey along the way that is the best part - and it's what you make it. The "old me" was so focused on the end result, that I forgot to savor the moments in between. Not anymore. I am very proud to be a camo belt and building the foundation of my TKD skills/art one stone at a time. One belt at a time.
So, I've grown through these belt colors thus far: White, Orange, Yellow and finally Camo. Next week my instructor will be testing me for Green!
So, for now I'm signing off to go celebrate with my baby girl and my very supportive husband! I am going to treat myself to a bacon cheeseburger with sweet potato fries!
Kiyap!!!!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Fighting The Enemy
Tonight's 2 classes were really intense. I sweat buckets through both. I love it and hate it how the sweat pours down my face and stings my eyes. It's a very physical reminder that the work that I do in the dojo is special, as it takes great commitment, dedication and perseverance to train that hard every time I step onto the mat.
Every now and then I get really pissed off about having Polycystic Kidney Disease. I feel pain from this disease EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. I am aware of my kidney pain 100% of the time. I don't talk about this or bring this up to anyone, because who wants to be around someone complaining all of the time? I just choose to concentrate on the positive and living in the moment.
Tonight I just really struggled mentally with an immense anger that sometimes fills me when I think about the details of the inevitable for me. My future holds certainty that my kidneys will continue to worsen - regardless of what I do to take excellent care of myself. It's so frustrating! My future holds possibilities of dialysis, transplant, complications from PKD (like on New Year's Day this year when I was in the E.R.),and continued pain.
There are certainly those that criticize my decision for choosing a full contact sport, like Tae Kwon Do. I can understand. One hard kick to one of my kidneys would be a very scary thing for me. We don't wear back pads, so when sparring, this is a real possibility. It's a risk I'm willing to take. The daily benefits that I receive from my martial arts training and lifestyle far outweigh the risks for me.
When I am in my garage or in the dojo and punching/kicking those targets and bags, I visualize the letters PKD and unleash the fury. It's the mental thing that I do to kick PKD ass on a weekly basis. It's the mental struggle, because I refuse to let PKD defeat me, although at times I feel like it's killing me!
Dedie
Every now and then I get really pissed off about having Polycystic Kidney Disease. I feel pain from this disease EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. I am aware of my kidney pain 100% of the time. I don't talk about this or bring this up to anyone, because who wants to be around someone complaining all of the time? I just choose to concentrate on the positive and living in the moment.
Tonight I just really struggled mentally with an immense anger that sometimes fills me when I think about the details of the inevitable for me. My future holds certainty that my kidneys will continue to worsen - regardless of what I do to take excellent care of myself. It's so frustrating! My future holds possibilities of dialysis, transplant, complications from PKD (like on New Year's Day this year when I was in the E.R.),and continued pain.
There are certainly those that criticize my decision for choosing a full contact sport, like Tae Kwon Do. I can understand. One hard kick to one of my kidneys would be a very scary thing for me. We don't wear back pads, so when sparring, this is a real possibility. It's a risk I'm willing to take. The daily benefits that I receive from my martial arts training and lifestyle far outweigh the risks for me.
When I am in my garage or in the dojo and punching/kicking those targets and bags, I visualize the letters PKD and unleash the fury. It's the mental thing that I do to kick PKD ass on a weekly basis. It's the mental struggle, because I refuse to let PKD defeat me, although at times I feel like it's killing me!
Dedie
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Songahm 3 - New Skills!
I had a great first week as an Orange Belt. It felt empowering to put on my new belt each time I prepared for going to the dojo. I did 5 classes this week. I was also just getting over being really sick, so it was a difficult week pacing myself and getting my strength back. When I went all out, my body pushed back making everything tough and truly a challenge.
I love my new poomse - Songahm 3! It's got great blocks and new kicks incorporated. I really enjoy doing my forms each day. The work and detail that I put in shows through in the dojo. For my next belt test I am only supposed to learn the first 12 or so movements; however, my goal is to perfect all 28 movements.
As far as sparring combinations goes, it feels good to move on to some new combos that incorporate new kicks and punches. This week I discovered that I'm naturally good at crescent and jump front kicks. I attribute this to years (and I mean YEARS) of aerobics, gymnastics, dance & choreographing stuff with my sister.
Speaking of my sister - I brought Mandi to a special Mother's Day cardio kickboxing class on Thursday. It turned out to be more like a high energy/cardio women's self defense class and it was so much fun! My instructor paired us up, and I tried my best to remain serious as we trained. It very difficult, though, because Mandi is so funny! She's very much like Chrissy from "Three's Company"! When we would pair up for kicking and puching drills, she would hold the targets and make all of these really funny faces. She was terrified that I was going to kick, punch or elbow her instead of the target. We would start laughing and have to stifle that when Mr. F came around. Mandi did awesome (as I knew she would) and it was really special for me to share my love of TKD with her.
May 22nd, Sr. Master Von Schmelling, the former world TKD champion and founder of Victory Martial Arts, is coming to San Antonio! He is coming to Victory schools in San Antonio to conduct training and I'll be there, for sure.
Happy Mother's Day today to all of the moms and grandmas out there! Today I am going to pamper my precious, sweet mom. She is the most amazing woman that I know and I look just like her!!! I want to be just like her - she's also one tough mama! :-)
Kihap!
Dedie!
I love my new poomse - Songahm 3! It's got great blocks and new kicks incorporated. I really enjoy doing my forms each day. The work and detail that I put in shows through in the dojo. For my next belt test I am only supposed to learn the first 12 or so movements; however, my goal is to perfect all 28 movements.
As far as sparring combinations goes, it feels good to move on to some new combos that incorporate new kicks and punches. This week I discovered that I'm naturally good at crescent and jump front kicks. I attribute this to years (and I mean YEARS) of aerobics, gymnastics, dance & choreographing stuff with my sister.
Speaking of my sister - I brought Mandi to a special Mother's Day cardio kickboxing class on Thursday. It turned out to be more like a high energy/cardio women's self defense class and it was so much fun! My instructor paired us up, and I tried my best to remain serious as we trained. It very difficult, though, because Mandi is so funny! She's very much like Chrissy from "Three's Company"! When we would pair up for kicking and puching drills, she would hold the targets and make all of these really funny faces. She was terrified that I was going to kick, punch or elbow her instead of the target. We would start laughing and have to stifle that when Mr. F came around. Mandi did awesome (as I knew she would) and it was really special for me to share my love of TKD with her.
May 22nd, Sr. Master Von Schmelling, the former world TKD champion and founder of Victory Martial Arts, is coming to San Antonio! He is coming to Victory schools in San Antonio to conduct training and I'll be there, for sure.
Happy Mother's Day today to all of the moms and grandmas out there! Today I am going to pamper my precious, sweet mom. She is the most amazing woman that I know and I look just like her!!! I want to be just like her - she's also one tough mama! :-)
Kihap!
Dedie!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The Perfect Push Up!
Tonight I had planned on blogging about the purpose behind the forms (poomse) that those in ATA Tae Kwon Do work so diligently to perfect. However, I was so inspired by another blogger's post that I ran across, that I have decided to publish her blog post here in it's entirety. Mandi, of everyone that reads my blog, I know that you'll not only benefit the most, but will also have the most interest in reading about and executing the Perfect Push Up! I do a gazillion push ups every week to further my fitness program as it's the one exercise that hits my entire upper body and core. Finding an article written by a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist, as well as a 4th degree Black Belt in ATA TKD, is certainly exciting for me. Here's my challenge to each one who reads this post - Try at least 1 perfect pushup!
Kihap!
Dedie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Search of the “perfect” push-up
By Dianne Bailey, CSCS
In light of the recent Fitness Test instituted by the ATA, you may be asking, “What is the perfect push-up?” Well, you might immediately think of the recently created product called just that. The “Perfect Push-up” was created by Navy SEAL, Alden Mills, to help facilitate the body’s natural movement during the world’s oldest bodyweight exercise, the push-up. Reviews of this product have been favorable, but you don’t need to spend the $40 for these nifty handles to get your body into the right position for a great workout!
While there are many variations of the humble push-up, let’s look at the basic form to make sure you are getting the most out of this exercise.
Incorrect: elbows out, hands by head. Potential injury to shoulders. (Oct., 2007, Vol 29, Number 5, Strength and Conditioning Journal)
Correct: elbows back, hands at shoulder/nipple line. Engaging pecs instead of shoulders as major movers.
We all know that there are many differences between women and men. After all, Venus and Mars are not the same planet! This follows through into the correct form for push-ups. Most women have difficulty identifying with their pectoralis major, or chest muscle. It is, however, the original “chest protector.” Look at some of the UFC fighters and notice how developed their chest muscles are . . . good protection for their heart from the intense punches they receive! Women, however, do not naturally have the muscle mass in the chest that a man has and therefore have difficulty connecting with the major mover in the push-up. They attempt to complete the push-up with their arms. Yes, the arms and shoulders are definitely working . . . but you must use your pectorals to really get at the heart of the push-up. Proper form is critical for this to happen.
That’s not to say that the chest is the only muscle group being activated during the push-up. In a recent NY Times article discussing push-ups, Tara Parker-Pope writes, “The push-up is the ultimate barometer of fitness. It tests the whole body, engaging muscle groups in the arms, chest, abdomen, hips and legs. It requires the body to be taut like a plank with toes and palms on the floor. The act of lifting and lowering one’s entire weight is taxing even for the very fit.” The traditional push-up is performed as a long lever, total body workout with the contact points at the toes and the hands. One can modify this position and therefore make it easier by shortening the lever and performing the push-up with the contact point at the knees instead of the toes. This dramatically reduces the core activation in this exercise, however. A better way to “shorten the lever”, but still maintain core activation is by raising the level of the hands, i.e. performing a push-up with your hands on a bench.
The versatility of the push-up is amazing! Consider the number of variations that can be created with this one exercise:
Feet elevated on step
Feet elevated on stability ball
Hands on stability ball
One-arm push-ups
One-leg push-ups
Plyometric with claps
One hand on medicine ball
Transfer medicine ball
Depth drop and return to two steps
T-stab (push-up then rotate to T position)
The “perfect push-up” doesn’t have to be a product that you buy from Amazon.com. It can and should be a major part of your fitness arsenal for your ATA life and beyond.
For all pictures, click on this link: http://kicks4all.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
Dianne Bailey is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist with the National Strength and Conditioning Association. She is also a 4th Degree Black Belt with the ATA with 14 years experience in the martial arts. She owns Martial Arts Conditioning,LLC which runs The Conditioning Classroom, a personal training studio in Denver, CO. www.maconditioning.com
Kihap!
Dedie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Search of the “perfect” push-up
By Dianne Bailey, CSCS
In light of the recent Fitness Test instituted by the ATA, you may be asking, “What is the perfect push-up?” Well, you might immediately think of the recently created product called just that. The “Perfect Push-up” was created by Navy SEAL, Alden Mills, to help facilitate the body’s natural movement during the world’s oldest bodyweight exercise, the push-up. Reviews of this product have been favorable, but you don’t need to spend the $40 for these nifty handles to get your body into the right position for a great workout!
While there are many variations of the humble push-up, let’s look at the basic form to make sure you are getting the most out of this exercise.
Incorrect: elbows out, hands by head. Potential injury to shoulders. (Oct., 2007, Vol 29, Number 5, Strength and Conditioning Journal)
Correct: elbows back, hands at shoulder/nipple line. Engaging pecs instead of shoulders as major movers.
We all know that there are many differences between women and men. After all, Venus and Mars are not the same planet! This follows through into the correct form for push-ups. Most women have difficulty identifying with their pectoralis major, or chest muscle. It is, however, the original “chest protector.” Look at some of the UFC fighters and notice how developed their chest muscles are . . . good protection for their heart from the intense punches they receive! Women, however, do not naturally have the muscle mass in the chest that a man has and therefore have difficulty connecting with the major mover in the push-up. They attempt to complete the push-up with their arms. Yes, the arms and shoulders are definitely working . . . but you must use your pectorals to really get at the heart of the push-up. Proper form is critical for this to happen.
That’s not to say that the chest is the only muscle group being activated during the push-up. In a recent NY Times article discussing push-ups, Tara Parker-Pope writes, “The push-up is the ultimate barometer of fitness. It tests the whole body, engaging muscle groups in the arms, chest, abdomen, hips and legs. It requires the body to be taut like a plank with toes and palms on the floor. The act of lifting and lowering one’s entire weight is taxing even for the very fit.” The traditional push-up is performed as a long lever, total body workout with the contact points at the toes and the hands. One can modify this position and therefore make it easier by shortening the lever and performing the push-up with the contact point at the knees instead of the toes. This dramatically reduces the core activation in this exercise, however. A better way to “shorten the lever”, but still maintain core activation is by raising the level of the hands, i.e. performing a push-up with your hands on a bench.
The versatility of the push-up is amazing! Consider the number of variations that can be created with this one exercise:
Feet elevated on step
Feet elevated on stability ball
Hands on stability ball
One-arm push-ups
One-leg push-ups
Plyometric with claps
One hand on medicine ball
Transfer medicine ball
Depth drop and return to two steps
T-stab (push-up then rotate to T position)
The “perfect push-up” doesn’t have to be a product that you buy from Amazon.com. It can and should be a major part of your fitness arsenal for your ATA life and beyond.
For all pictures, click on this link: http://kicks4all.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
Dianne Bailey is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist with the National Strength and Conditioning Association. She is also a 4th Degree Black Belt with the ATA with 14 years experience in the martial arts. She owns Martial Arts Conditioning,LLC which runs The Conditioning Classroom, a personal training studio in Denver, CO. www.maconditioning.com
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Orange!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! Much has happened since my last post. Almost don't know where to begin. I haven't blogged in a few weeks from being super busy, and then super sick. I'm on the rebound, though, and getting ready to do a kickass workout.
I am no longer a White Belt! I've graduated to Orange Belt and my first testing experience was very powerful. I didn't know what to expect and was very nervous. I practiced and practiced to get my form - Songahm 2 - to perfection. I also attended every class I could fit in my schedule to perfect my weapon (9 strike ), my board breaks (I'm really good at these) and my self defense. At the testing, out of many students, there were only 3 of us that had perfected all 23 moves of the Songahm 2 form, the other students only learned 12 moves. It felt good to set myself apart from the group. I was also the only girl to do a break with the brown board. I broke the board on the first attempt and there were men that took several tries on the brown board! Lastly, the instructor complimented me in front of the group that he had invited me to participate in the Leadership Instructor training program called CIT. The night before, the owner of the schools had invited me to attend a special workout. I'll write more on that later. It was a great experience, overall. During the workout, my instructor asked the family members to belt us with our new color belts. My husband was every excited to step onto the mat to put my new Orange Belt on! After testing, we went out to dinner and had a nice little date. His support of my martial arts is incredible and I coudn't be as successful without his support, for sure. My husband is such an inspiring man and awesome in the martial arts himself! He is a Black Belt of Tae Kwon Do and of Kuk Sool Won. He's a little rusty, but has started training again. Having a family foundation of fitness and discipline through martial arts is really powerful and something that Isabella, my 3 year old, will grow into. To learn about the different belt colors in Tae Kwon Do and their meanings, click here:
http://www.ataonline.com/taekwondo/belts/index.asp
Now onto the other exciting element of my training - Leadership. I am truly honored and thrilled that my instructor has selected me to participate in the Leadership program at our dojo. I take every class so seriously and relentlessly give my personal best. I take 2-3 classes every Monday and Wednesday and attend Thursdays and Saturdays whenever possible. I guess my instructor has noticed my commitment and dedication. I am thinking about this additional commitment and will let him know. I really want to take my martial arts training and commitment to my school to the next level, however, I can't let martial arts conflict with work or being there for my 3 year old. I'm so driven in what I want to accomplish, but I can't lose focus of what's REALLY important in my life and that's maxing out my time with Isabella. In just a few short years, she'll be off and running doing her own and I'll never get these years back. On the other hand, training in Tae Kwon Do can be a family experience and Isabella will be in classes in just a few months. I also can be a role model for her. We'll see.
I have lost 15 pounds and gone down almost 2 dress sizes in the last 8 weeks since starting Tae Kwon Do!!! My confidence level is off of the charts. I am forever grateful to my instructor, Mr. F, and will always be insanely loyal to him. He is so amazing and supportive of me. I'm also making great friends in my dojo and am starting to feel like I am family there. I have just started to chip away at the fitness goals that I want to accomplish. I will continue to lose weight and increase muscle mass to decrease my body fat. In addition, I'm incorporating plyometrics to work on my jumping kicks, agility and speed. This will all pay off when sparring.
I just started to learn my new form - Songahm 3. I'm going to post again tomorrow to explain Songahm Tae Kwon Do. It's fascinating - at least to me!!!
I have much to be excited about, so today I'm signing off with the biggest KIHAP ever!!!
KIHAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dedie
I am no longer a White Belt! I've graduated to Orange Belt and my first testing experience was very powerful. I didn't know what to expect and was very nervous. I practiced and practiced to get my form - Songahm 2 - to perfection. I also attended every class I could fit in my schedule to perfect my weapon (9 strike ), my board breaks (I'm really good at these) and my self defense. At the testing, out of many students, there were only 3 of us that had perfected all 23 moves of the Songahm 2 form, the other students only learned 12 moves. It felt good to set myself apart from the group. I was also the only girl to do a break with the brown board. I broke the board on the first attempt and there were men that took several tries on the brown board! Lastly, the instructor complimented me in front of the group that he had invited me to participate in the Leadership Instructor training program called CIT. The night before, the owner of the schools had invited me to attend a special workout. I'll write more on that later. It was a great experience, overall. During the workout, my instructor asked the family members to belt us with our new color belts. My husband was every excited to step onto the mat to put my new Orange Belt on! After testing, we went out to dinner and had a nice little date. His support of my martial arts is incredible and I coudn't be as successful without his support, for sure. My husband is such an inspiring man and awesome in the martial arts himself! He is a Black Belt of Tae Kwon Do and of Kuk Sool Won. He's a little rusty, but has started training again. Having a family foundation of fitness and discipline through martial arts is really powerful and something that Isabella, my 3 year old, will grow into. To learn about the different belt colors in Tae Kwon Do and their meanings, click here:
http://www.ataonline.com/taekwondo/belts/index.asp
Now onto the other exciting element of my training - Leadership. I am truly honored and thrilled that my instructor has selected me to participate in the Leadership program at our dojo. I take every class so seriously and relentlessly give my personal best. I take 2-3 classes every Monday and Wednesday and attend Thursdays and Saturdays whenever possible. I guess my instructor has noticed my commitment and dedication. I am thinking about this additional commitment and will let him know. I really want to take my martial arts training and commitment to my school to the next level, however, I can't let martial arts conflict with work or being there for my 3 year old. I'm so driven in what I want to accomplish, but I can't lose focus of what's REALLY important in my life and that's maxing out my time with Isabella. In just a few short years, she'll be off and running doing her own and I'll never get these years back. On the other hand, training in Tae Kwon Do can be a family experience and Isabella will be in classes in just a few months. I also can be a role model for her. We'll see.
I have lost 15 pounds and gone down almost 2 dress sizes in the last 8 weeks since starting Tae Kwon Do!!! My confidence level is off of the charts. I am forever grateful to my instructor, Mr. F, and will always be insanely loyal to him. He is so amazing and supportive of me. I'm also making great friends in my dojo and am starting to feel like I am family there. I have just started to chip away at the fitness goals that I want to accomplish. I will continue to lose weight and increase muscle mass to decrease my body fat. In addition, I'm incorporating plyometrics to work on my jumping kicks, agility and speed. This will all pay off when sparring.
I just started to learn my new form - Songahm 3. I'm going to post again tomorrow to explain Songahm Tae Kwon Do. It's fascinating - at least to me!!!
I have much to be excited about, so today I'm signing off with the biggest KIHAP ever!!!
KIHAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dedie
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
This is MY House!!!!
My Dojo is MY house. I have an immense sense of belonging and pride when I walk through those doors and step on that sacred mat. My fellow students and instructors are my family. In the couple of months that I have been practicing TKD, I have developed some very deep connections with those that I practice with.
I am now down 13 pounds and testing for my Orange Belt in 3 days!!! I am ready and very excited! I have butterflies when I think about testing, because I've never been through this experience before. What I've gained in just 2 months of studying TKD is so amazing. I think back to the day that I walked into my Dojo for my trial class and the transformation is incredible. I never want to be that person again. I know that the journey ahead of me will be lifelong, and I'm learning to enjoy the journey instead of solely focusing on attaining an endall goal. The misconception that most have is that once a martial artist achieves Black Belt status, they have achieved the highest level. The truth is that once a martial artist achieves Black Belt status, the journey really has just begun.
Yesterday I did 3 classes! I had so much fun and sweat my ass off. My mascara was all over the place. I've gotten to the place where I need to completely wash off my makeup before starting class. It's always in my eyes and stinging.
My instructor invited me to attend his Leadership Class and I was very honored. My goal will be to train as an instructor, when I get to the level where that will be allowed. I taught group exercise (in my day we called it aerobics classes) for 17 years and miss that a lot. Instructing martial arts will definitely fit in well with dusting off those skills in my repetoire. I have the innate desire to Lead whereever I'm placed. It's really hard for me to resist - God's wiring and plan.
I'll write again after testing. Wish me luck!!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
I am now down 13 pounds and testing for my Orange Belt in 3 days!!! I am ready and very excited! I have butterflies when I think about testing, because I've never been through this experience before. What I've gained in just 2 months of studying TKD is so amazing. I think back to the day that I walked into my Dojo for my trial class and the transformation is incredible. I never want to be that person again. I know that the journey ahead of me will be lifelong, and I'm learning to enjoy the journey instead of solely focusing on attaining an endall goal. The misconception that most have is that once a martial artist achieves Black Belt status, they have achieved the highest level. The truth is that once a martial artist achieves Black Belt status, the journey really has just begun.
Yesterday I did 3 classes! I had so much fun and sweat my ass off. My mascara was all over the place. I've gotten to the place where I need to completely wash off my makeup before starting class. It's always in my eyes and stinging.
My instructor invited me to attend his Leadership Class and I was very honored. My goal will be to train as an instructor, when I get to the level where that will be allowed. I taught group exercise (in my day we called it aerobics classes) for 17 years and miss that a lot. Instructing martial arts will definitely fit in well with dusting off those skills in my repetoire. I have the innate desire to Lead whereever I'm placed. It's really hard for me to resist - God's wiring and plan.
I'll write again after testing. Wish me luck!!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The TKD Way ...
I open every class saying:
I will pratice in the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do
Having Courtesy for fellow students
Loyalty for my Instructor
and Respect for my juniors and seniors, Sir!
I close every class saying:
I shall persevere to live in the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do
Having Honor with others
Integrity within myself
and Self Control in my actions, Sir!
As I grow in the pursuit of my sport, I am learning to persevere. There are times in class when I want to quit, and I punch, kick, and try harder. I attend each class with complete focus on doing my personal best. My worst critic is the perfectionist in me. There is a part of me that feels that if I can't do something perfectly, I should not even do it all. Getting my ass kicked in my classes each week is teaching me that perseverance is about the journey along the way and enjoying the trials, tribulations and victories in this glorious (and supremely rewarding) experience. Translating this to other areas of my life will be truly enlightenment. One step at a time ....
As I work toward discovering the Black Belt within myself, I want to exude the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do in everything that I do. I am now feeling the connection to my career and my relationships. I now know that I will not accept anything less than excellence from myself and those around me. And instead of being in a constant state of competition, empowering others and building them up is the true art of leadership.
It's truly exciting to see myself change physically, mentally and emotionally since I began my first class in my dojang. I am forever changed!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
I will pratice in the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do
Having Courtesy for fellow students
Loyalty for my Instructor
and Respect for my juniors and seniors, Sir!
I close every class saying:
I shall persevere to live in the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do
Having Honor with others
Integrity within myself
and Self Control in my actions, Sir!
As I grow in the pursuit of my sport, I am learning to persevere. There are times in class when I want to quit, and I punch, kick, and try harder. I attend each class with complete focus on doing my personal best. My worst critic is the perfectionist in me. There is a part of me that feels that if I can't do something perfectly, I should not even do it all. Getting my ass kicked in my classes each week is teaching me that perseverance is about the journey along the way and enjoying the trials, tribulations and victories in this glorious (and supremely rewarding) experience. Translating this to other areas of my life will be truly enlightenment. One step at a time ....
As I work toward discovering the Black Belt within myself, I want to exude the Spirit of Tae Kwon Do in everything that I do. I am now feeling the connection to my career and my relationships. I now know that I will not accept anything less than excellence from myself and those around me. And instead of being in a constant state of competition, empowering others and building them up is the true art of leadership.
It's truly exciting to see myself change physically, mentally and emotionally since I began my first class in my dojang. I am forever changed!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
3 Weeks to Orange!!!
Yesterday rocked. I took a White-Orange-Yellow class at 6:45pm and followed it by taking the Advanced All Belts Class at 8:15pm. I'm posting this morning at 6:30am and my body hurts all over from the intense workouts! I only slept 4 hours last night because of being sore. It's a good ache, though. I know that I'm pushing myself to the limits of what I can do. I see the physical and mental benefits.
As far as physical changes, I'm down 11 pounds and definitely down inches! I am getting comments from others on my weight loss. what's so fantastic is that I no longer crave the junk that I used to because I know that it will only hinder my abilities to excel in my sport. (God it feels good to say that!) I see the slight changes in my body and expect so much more from myself. I still want to drop another 20 pounds and increase my lean body mass. I need to work on agility, speed and flexibility.
On the mental side, I am gaining confidence in every area of my life. Those that don't practice martial arts can not understand the mental workout that is required. The intense amount of focus that I have in the dojang provides a terrific outlet from work. I love what I do professionally, however, I'm the obsessive type. I'd much rather obsess about my family and my sport over my career. I feel like martial arts has given me balance in life.
I have 3 weeks to prepare for my Orange belt testing. OMG!!! My goal is to drop another 6 pounds and to perfect self defense, weapons, my kick/punch combos and Songahm 2 (my poomse). I have much work to do. I am now attending 5 hours of TKD weekly and need to continue with at least 2 home workouts of cardio, light weights, and plyometrics.
Gotta get ready for my day!
Kihap!
Dedie
As far as physical changes, I'm down 11 pounds and definitely down inches! I am getting comments from others on my weight loss. what's so fantastic is that I no longer crave the junk that I used to because I know that it will only hinder my abilities to excel in my sport. (God it feels good to say that!) I see the slight changes in my body and expect so much more from myself. I still want to drop another 20 pounds and increase my lean body mass. I need to work on agility, speed and flexibility.
On the mental side, I am gaining confidence in every area of my life. Those that don't practice martial arts can not understand the mental workout that is required. The intense amount of focus that I have in the dojang provides a terrific outlet from work. I love what I do professionally, however, I'm the obsessive type. I'd much rather obsess about my family and my sport over my career. I feel like martial arts has given me balance in life.
I have 3 weeks to prepare for my Orange belt testing. OMG!!! My goal is to drop another 6 pounds and to perfect self defense, weapons, my kick/punch combos and Songahm 2 (my poomse). I have much work to do. I am now attending 5 hours of TKD weekly and need to continue with at least 2 home workouts of cardio, light weights, and plyometrics.
Gotta get ready for my day!
Kihap!
Dedie
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Kickin' Ass!!!!
Today ROCKED!!! I decided to take an earlier class because Monday's class was such a disaster. I thought that maybe I was cut out to hang with the other white belts instead of hanging with the higher belts. I attended the 4:30pm White/Yellow/Orange belt class. It was a great workout, however, not at all challenging, as far as stretching my physical and mental abilities. My instructor questioned why I attended the class and I was honest with him. I told him that I needed a confidence booster and that I felt like I completely sucked. I also told him that I was leaving in tears - out of sheer frustration - on Monday and Wednesday nights. He asked me if I was coming back to night class. I didn't even know that I could attend more than twice per week.
I went to have my nail repaired (In Monday's class, some guy round kicked me and shattered my sculptured nail in 2 places - cool!), and my salon just happens to be across the street from the dojang. As I was sitting there, I realized that I was giving up and not doing my best. In the Tae Kwon Do code that I recite before and after each class, I promise to do my best and live with perseverance. By attending an easier class, I am completely going against both of those ideals.
I decided to attend the 8:15pm advanced class, as well. I am so glad that I did! First of all, my instructor took notice, although he didn't say anything. He was teaching the black belt class. As I geared up, I socialized with my class mates - really great and cool people who are becoming more than acquaintances. Class was incredible! We punched, kicked, and performed numerous hook kick variations. Hook kicks kick my ass. They are truly artful when executed with precision, but very difficult to master. My instructor believes that the hook kick is the basic kicking element that sets Tae Kwon Do apart from other martial arts. The spinning hook kick is what threw me off my game last Monday night. In tonight's class, however, I was able to really grasp the elements of the hook kick and I'm truly getting it.
Surprise! My Partner was Miss Perfect Blonde again. She is really trying and advancing, too. As we worked together, I decided that she and I could truly form a friendship. I need to be easier on her and appreciate the girlie girl in her. She was very supportive and complimentary of the progress that I made since Monday's class. I can tell that her attitude is changing each class to that of a serious student. Tonight I asked what size she is - SIZE 4. WHATEVER - I don't think that I was even born a size 4.
I broke my first board with a round kick! I broke it on the first try - too easy. Next time I'm going to ask for the hardest board.
At the end of class, I was told that on April 25th, I'm testing for my orange belt. I am so excited! I have my form down - Songahm 2 - and just need to work on self-defense and weapons to perfect those skills. It will be an exciting night for me, as my family will be there to watch me. I want to show them the impact that Tae Kwon Do has had in my life.
I ordered a new dobak and hope that it'll be ready for my testing. I had to order a new size, because I've lost 10 pounds AND inches!!!
Tonight I can definitely Kihap!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
I went to have my nail repaired (In Monday's class, some guy round kicked me and shattered my sculptured nail in 2 places - cool!), and my salon just happens to be across the street from the dojang. As I was sitting there, I realized that I was giving up and not doing my best. In the Tae Kwon Do code that I recite before and after each class, I promise to do my best and live with perseverance. By attending an easier class, I am completely going against both of those ideals.
I decided to attend the 8:15pm advanced class, as well. I am so glad that I did! First of all, my instructor took notice, although he didn't say anything. He was teaching the black belt class. As I geared up, I socialized with my class mates - really great and cool people who are becoming more than acquaintances. Class was incredible! We punched, kicked, and performed numerous hook kick variations. Hook kicks kick my ass. They are truly artful when executed with precision, but very difficult to master. My instructor believes that the hook kick is the basic kicking element that sets Tae Kwon Do apart from other martial arts. The spinning hook kick is what threw me off my game last Monday night. In tonight's class, however, I was able to really grasp the elements of the hook kick and I'm truly getting it.
Surprise! My Partner was Miss Perfect Blonde again. She is really trying and advancing, too. As we worked together, I decided that she and I could truly form a friendship. I need to be easier on her and appreciate the girlie girl in her. She was very supportive and complimentary of the progress that I made since Monday's class. I can tell that her attitude is changing each class to that of a serious student. Tonight I asked what size she is - SIZE 4. WHATEVER - I don't think that I was even born a size 4.
I broke my first board with a round kick! I broke it on the first try - too easy. Next time I'm going to ask for the hardest board.
At the end of class, I was told that on April 25th, I'm testing for my orange belt. I am so excited! I have my form down - Songahm 2 - and just need to work on self-defense and weapons to perfect those skills. It will be an exciting night for me, as my family will be there to watch me. I want to show them the impact that Tae Kwon Do has had in my life.
I ordered a new dobak and hope that it'll be ready for my testing. I had to order a new size, because I've lost 10 pounds AND inches!!!
Tonight I can definitely Kihap!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Schitzo!!!!!***!!!!!
Being a white belt perfectionist in Tae Kwon Do is a funny thing. One day I'm on top and relishinging in my strong suits (flexibility, strength, precision, power, intense focus, desire, ...) and other days, I wallow in the fact that I completely suck and if I had not prepaid for 3 years, I quit. Tonight I wallow.
I was back in Mr. Middle-Aged Fat Women Don't Belong in Tae Kwon Do's Class. When I walked in the door, I almost turned right back around and walked out. Then, I sucked it up and convinced myself that I would defeat this defeatist attitude, work hard through class and prevail. Within the first 10 minutes of class, we were doing some kind of spinning hook kicks that kicked my ass. I was CLEARLY out of my league - looked and felt completely ridiculous. Naturally, he paired me with Miss Girlie Girl (Miss Perfect Makeup, Perfect Body, Perfect Boobs) and the other only white belt tonight and we probably looked like a spectacle. I'm sure if there was an audience, they would have paid money to see the 2 blonde chick white belt comedy act. We sucked and sucked so badly that it was probably comical.
I struggled throughout the entire class. The only thing I mastered tonight was breaking an advanced board on the first try. Half of the black belts took 2 or 3 tries to break. I love to break boards with my hands. It's a completely empowering feeling.
To summarize:
Bad Points For Tonight: My attitude sucked defeating me more and more as class progressed, I didn't try my best, I'm letting my feelings about that instructor get in my way, and I'm trying too hard NOT to be a girlie girl in class to prove that I'm tougher than that.
Good Points For Tonight: I have not quit - despite the fact that I have wanted to several times. I sweat my ass off tonight, so I know that I got a good workout (I'm down 8 pounds!!!), I broke an advanced level board on my first try, Getting better at sparring, and I'm being challenged by attending the higher belt classes.
I still love my sport. I am VERY discouraged, though. So, I will continue to sit here, reflect and wallow.
No Kihap Left,
Dedie
I was back in Mr. Middle-Aged Fat Women Don't Belong in Tae Kwon Do's Class. When I walked in the door, I almost turned right back around and walked out. Then, I sucked it up and convinced myself that I would defeat this defeatist attitude, work hard through class and prevail. Within the first 10 minutes of class, we were doing some kind of spinning hook kicks that kicked my ass. I was CLEARLY out of my league - looked and felt completely ridiculous. Naturally, he paired me with Miss Girlie Girl (Miss Perfect Makeup, Perfect Body, Perfect Boobs) and the other only white belt tonight and we probably looked like a spectacle. I'm sure if there was an audience, they would have paid money to see the 2 blonde chick white belt comedy act. We sucked and sucked so badly that it was probably comical.
I struggled throughout the entire class. The only thing I mastered tonight was breaking an advanced board on the first try. Half of the black belts took 2 or 3 tries to break. I love to break boards with my hands. It's a completely empowering feeling.
To summarize:
Bad Points For Tonight: My attitude sucked defeating me more and more as class progressed, I didn't try my best, I'm letting my feelings about that instructor get in my way, and I'm trying too hard NOT to be a girlie girl in class to prove that I'm tougher than that.
Good Points For Tonight: I have not quit - despite the fact that I have wanted to several times. I sweat my ass off tonight, so I know that I got a good workout (I'm down 8 pounds!!!), I broke an advanced level board on my first try, Getting better at sparring, and I'm being challenged by attending the higher belt classes.
I still love my sport. I am VERY discouraged, though. So, I will continue to sit here, reflect and wallow.
No Kihap Left,
Dedie
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Working Through the Pain ...
I was supposed to be in class last night. Didn't happen. I couldn't even get out of a chair (or walk up/down stairs) without intense pain shooting through both quadraceps. I feel like I've blown the muscles in each of my top legs. My ass muscles hurt, too, but I can handle that. The quads are a completely different level of pain that I've only experienced once before in my lifetime of working out and challenging myself physically and mentally. My sweet husband was so great in helping me. He massaged my muscles with Icy Hot (ouch, ouch!) and ran a hot bath in our jacuzzi tub. He has been amazing in his support of my aspirations in TKD.
I truly planned on being in class last night, but I didn't want to show up and truly injure myself. In addition, I didn't want my instructor to think that I wasn't giving it my all or doing my best. I called and left word with a jr. instructor. Mr. Frieberg called back - he was disappointed in my choice to stay home. He encouraged me to attend the Thursday lunch class.
I rearranged my schedule to attend the Thursday lunch class. I am truly glad that I followed through on my commitment - both to Mr. Freiberg and to myself. I got to class early, stretched and warmed up. Class Began. There were no other white belts - everyone outranked me. I don't know why I always notice this. It really doesn't make any difference.
We worked on conditioning, punching with partners on the big bags and I once again discovered that my punches are much more powerful than even the black belt women. The men and Mr. Freiberg really take notice. I think it's because I was raised in the country - country girls ROCK!!!
I didn't go full force on my kicks - my legs would not allow me to. Working through the pain was great mentally. I was competing with myself today. I sweat my ass off.
We did floor work today to isolate and work the muscles required for hook kicks and back kicks. I need to do this on my own - ALOT. My quads, gluteus muscles and hip flexors really got some conditioning today. I can see why my kicks need work. These muscles need developing something fierce. If I can really perfect these floor exercises, I'll be able to demonstrate a great deal of control in my kicking forms and precision.
Lastly, I worked on my Poomse, or form. I now know the 23 moves of Songahm 2. I really enjoy the mental and physical aspects of performing my form. I would like to compete in forms to see how I stack up against others in my belt and peer groupings. I would also like to compete in sparring in the same.
When I left class today, I felt like a winner. I worked through the pain and had an outstanding class where I gave it my all. I did my best and it feels AWESOME!!!
Outside of class, a female black belt stopped me to tell me how great she thought I was doing. She told me that I would be her instructor one day. OMG!!!!!!!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
I truly planned on being in class last night, but I didn't want to show up and truly injure myself. In addition, I didn't want my instructor to think that I wasn't giving it my all or doing my best. I called and left word with a jr. instructor. Mr. Frieberg called back - he was disappointed in my choice to stay home. He encouraged me to attend the Thursday lunch class.
I rearranged my schedule to attend the Thursday lunch class. I am truly glad that I followed through on my commitment - both to Mr. Freiberg and to myself. I got to class early, stretched and warmed up. Class Began. There were no other white belts - everyone outranked me. I don't know why I always notice this. It really doesn't make any difference.
We worked on conditioning, punching with partners on the big bags and I once again discovered that my punches are much more powerful than even the black belt women. The men and Mr. Freiberg really take notice. I think it's because I was raised in the country - country girls ROCK!!!
I didn't go full force on my kicks - my legs would not allow me to. Working through the pain was great mentally. I was competing with myself today. I sweat my ass off.
We did floor work today to isolate and work the muscles required for hook kicks and back kicks. I need to do this on my own - ALOT. My quads, gluteus muscles and hip flexors really got some conditioning today. I can see why my kicks need work. These muscles need developing something fierce. If I can really perfect these floor exercises, I'll be able to demonstrate a great deal of control in my kicking forms and precision.
Lastly, I worked on my Poomse, or form. I now know the 23 moves of Songahm 2. I really enjoy the mental and physical aspects of performing my form. I would like to compete in forms to see how I stack up against others in my belt and peer groupings. I would also like to compete in sparring in the same.
When I left class today, I felt like a winner. I worked through the pain and had an outstanding class where I gave it my all. I did my best and it feels AWESOME!!!
Outside of class, a female black belt stopped me to tell me how great she thought I was doing. She told me that I would be her instructor one day. OMG!!!!!!!
Kihap!!!
Dedie
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sparring!!!
Last week was rough. I was down in the dumps and had a really hard time pulling myself out. I did what I said I would never do. I let my outside "junk" (work and other issues) get in the way of my success in my Tae Kwon Do classes. I left with tears in my eyes last Wednesday. I then sat in the parking lot and cried until there was nothing left. It's hard to go through what I've been through and be 100% okay. The great news is that those days used to be every day and now are only every now and then. Time does seem to heal this pain for me.
Tonight I was determined to reclaim my "kick ass" attitude in class. The dojang is, after all, my sanctuary. I have found a purpose there that truly is transforming me inside and out.
During class today, I aced my Poomse - form - Songahm 2. I am tweaking the minute details and am preparing to test for my yellow belt. I watched a black belt perform her forms before class and she was absolutely incredible. Words to describe her execution: crisp, powerful, precise, high kicks, her dobak popped with kicks, control, perfect eye contact, rhythmic, fun to watch. That's how I want to execute my forms.
Tonight my instructor threw me into the sparring ring. He told me to fully gear up, and I was terrified. Hell - I've never even tried my sparring pads on before! I thought sparring would be months away. Nevertheless, I got in that ring and did my best. I thought that I didn't know enough, however, I underestimated what I've been practicing these last 4 weeks. I sparred against a green belt and won!!!!! I discovered that I REALLY like sparring. I got kicked and hit a few times pretty hard, but I can definitely take it. I can also dish it. My favorite part about sparring is the intense mental focus on strategy that one has to exhibit. I was constantly calculating where my opponent would make the next move. I blocked and counter kicked and then followed immediately with a punch combo. I sweat my ass off. It was so incredibly cool.
Then, to finish class, (after forms and before sparring we worked with our weapons) a young black belt ran us through conditioning. It sucked. He had us jumping like frogs with our butts practically touching the floor and then jumping as high as we could - back & forth, back & forth - I can't even recall how many times we did this until adding series of walking lunges paired with those crazy frog jumps. My legs were buckling under me.
Tonight is Monday. Wednesday will suck. I'm sure that I'll feel like I've been in a car wreck!
Kihap!
Dedie
Tonight I was determined to reclaim my "kick ass" attitude in class. The dojang is, after all, my sanctuary. I have found a purpose there that truly is transforming me inside and out.
During class today, I aced my Poomse - form - Songahm 2. I am tweaking the minute details and am preparing to test for my yellow belt. I watched a black belt perform her forms before class and she was absolutely incredible. Words to describe her execution: crisp, powerful, precise, high kicks, her dobak popped with kicks, control, perfect eye contact, rhythmic, fun to watch. That's how I want to execute my forms.
Tonight my instructor threw me into the sparring ring. He told me to fully gear up, and I was terrified. Hell - I've never even tried my sparring pads on before! I thought sparring would be months away. Nevertheless, I got in that ring and did my best. I thought that I didn't know enough, however, I underestimated what I've been practicing these last 4 weeks. I sparred against a green belt and won!!!!! I discovered that I REALLY like sparring. I got kicked and hit a few times pretty hard, but I can definitely take it. I can also dish it. My favorite part about sparring is the intense mental focus on strategy that one has to exhibit. I was constantly calculating where my opponent would make the next move. I blocked and counter kicked and then followed immediately with a punch combo. I sweat my ass off. It was so incredibly cool.
Then, to finish class, (after forms and before sparring we worked with our weapons) a young black belt ran us through conditioning. It sucked. He had us jumping like frogs with our butts practically touching the floor and then jumping as high as we could - back & forth, back & forth - I can't even recall how many times we did this until adding series of walking lunges paired with those crazy frog jumps. My legs were buckling under me.
Tonight is Monday. Wednesday will suck. I'm sure that I'll feel like I've been in a car wreck!
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Taking Inventory - End of 3rd Week
Flexibility - much improved. Mr. Freiberg noticed tonight.
Power - very good. I can hit like the boys. I have powerful right kicks. Mr. Freiberg comments on my power. Other students comment on my power.
Ambidexterity - I need to work on my left kicks. I struggle with good form and proper execution of my left kicks.
Weapon - I suck. I've got to work on being more ambidextrous. I can see that this could be an area where I'll have to work very hard.
Poomse (forms) - Talented here. I do them well, execute crisply with intention. My dobak even snaps with my front kick and my punches!
Agility/Speed - nonexistent. I'm slow. I have to continue to lose weight to lighten up. I think plyometrics will help my fast twitch muscles perform better. Right now I'd get my ass kicked in any sparring match. I would only be able to count on landing a punch or kick, which could hurt them. But if I didn't, I'm toast!
Mental Acuity - nonexistent. Tonight I couldn't shake work. I couldn't concentrate. I violated my oath because I was not focused and didn't do my best.
Going to bed and no spirit left to Kihap,
Dedie
Power - very good. I can hit like the boys. I have powerful right kicks. Mr. Freiberg comments on my power. Other students comment on my power.
Ambidexterity - I need to work on my left kicks. I struggle with good form and proper execution of my left kicks.
Weapon - I suck. I've got to work on being more ambidextrous. I can see that this could be an area where I'll have to work very hard.
Poomse (forms) - Talented here. I do them well, execute crisply with intention. My dobak even snaps with my front kick and my punches!
Agility/Speed - nonexistent. I'm slow. I have to continue to lose weight to lighten up. I think plyometrics will help my fast twitch muscles perform better. Right now I'd get my ass kicked in any sparring match. I would only be able to count on landing a punch or kick, which could hurt them. But if I didn't, I'm toast!
Mental Acuity - nonexistent. Tonight I couldn't shake work. I couldn't concentrate. I violated my oath because I was not focused and didn't do my best.
Going to bed and no spirit left to Kihap,
Dedie
Monday, March 17, 2008
Blue Stripe!!!!!!!!!
My hands are shaking as I'm typing this. I just got home from the dojang. Mr. Freiberg left after the black belt class (right before my class), and entrusted our training to another black belt. I've seen this black belt before, however, he's never taught one of my classes.
There were only 3 of us tonight. Myself (white belt), a blue belt older male (probably late '40's) and another blonde white belt female. She was cute and very girlie. I've tried SO hard not to be the stereotypical girlie girl blonde chick thus far, because I know that it's what every guy and brunette female is expecting me to be. I enter the dojang each class with my game face on and I never break. The instructor kept putting us females together and spent the majority of his drills with the blue belt male. He never came to watch our form. I think a smarter pairing would have been to mix us so that there was a beginner and a higher belt for each pair. It was frustrating and I was getting pissed, but trying to exercise self control - since it's one of the martial arts principles and something that I need to work on.
This instructor put us on the stationary kicking/punching bags and had us working on our board breaking kicks. He drilled us again and again. I loved this part.
He then paired us to work on sparring and weapons. He paired with me - which is what I was asking for - right? - and drove me into the ground. He was tough, had little patience and transitioned so quickly. Granted this is my 5th class, so I feel like I'm working overtime mentally just to keep up. I desperately want to excel. I know that I think too much.
He asks if we can stay late and we all agree. My instructor then proceeds to drilling us with partner situps with medicine balls, pushups, running drills, more situps and more push ups. At this point, I'm so thankful that I've been training at home each day or it would have been so embarrassing for me. I looked in the mirror and my face was so red! I was determined to stay the course and keep up. Inside, though, I wanted to cry from being pissed at myself. HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET OUT OF SHAPE LIKE THIS? He lectured us continuously on how our excellent forms, execution of kicks and punches, and flexibility don't matter if we aren't in cardiovascular shape to stay in the fight. While I know that he's absolutely right, it hurts to hear the truth.
At the end of class, I was wringing wet. I have never attended a class and gotten this much workout. I also felt mentally broken. This instructor took away any confidence that I had. I felt like I knew nothing and was out of my league. Then something amazing happened.
He called me over and put a blue stripe on my belt. When I asked what that stood for, he told me that he saw me demonstrate a commitment to belief. He said that I could say that I believe in many things: my country, my relationships, my work; however, I could not believe in anything, really, until I believe in myself. He then said that he was proud of me.
I drove home and thought through tonight realizing that my blue stripe needs to be a physical reminder to me of humility. I got a big dose tonight. Part of me wanted to quit, but I will persevere. When I want to quit, I will look at that blue stripe and kick harder - punch harder - train harder - to be my personal best.
Kihap!
Dedie
There were only 3 of us tonight. Myself (white belt), a blue belt older male (probably late '40's) and another blonde white belt female. She was cute and very girlie. I've tried SO hard not to be the stereotypical girlie girl blonde chick thus far, because I know that it's what every guy and brunette female is expecting me to be. I enter the dojang each class with my game face on and I never break. The instructor kept putting us females together and spent the majority of his drills with the blue belt male. He never came to watch our form. I think a smarter pairing would have been to mix us so that there was a beginner and a higher belt for each pair. It was frustrating and I was getting pissed, but trying to exercise self control - since it's one of the martial arts principles and something that I need to work on.
This instructor put us on the stationary kicking/punching bags and had us working on our board breaking kicks. He drilled us again and again. I loved this part.
He then paired us to work on sparring and weapons. He paired with me - which is what I was asking for - right? - and drove me into the ground. He was tough, had little patience and transitioned so quickly. Granted this is my 5th class, so I feel like I'm working overtime mentally just to keep up. I desperately want to excel. I know that I think too much.
He asks if we can stay late and we all agree. My instructor then proceeds to drilling us with partner situps with medicine balls, pushups, running drills, more situps and more push ups. At this point, I'm so thankful that I've been training at home each day or it would have been so embarrassing for me. I looked in the mirror and my face was so red! I was determined to stay the course and keep up. Inside, though, I wanted to cry from being pissed at myself. HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET OUT OF SHAPE LIKE THIS? He lectured us continuously on how our excellent forms, execution of kicks and punches, and flexibility don't matter if we aren't in cardiovascular shape to stay in the fight. While I know that he's absolutely right, it hurts to hear the truth.
At the end of class, I was wringing wet. I have never attended a class and gotten this much workout. I also felt mentally broken. This instructor took away any confidence that I had. I felt like I knew nothing and was out of my league. Then something amazing happened.
He called me over and put a blue stripe on my belt. When I asked what that stood for, he told me that he saw me demonstrate a commitment to belief. He said that I could say that I believe in many things: my country, my relationships, my work; however, I could not believe in anything, really, until I believe in myself. He then said that he was proud of me.
I drove home and thought through tonight realizing that my blue stripe needs to be a physical reminder to me of humility. I got a big dose tonight. Part of me wanted to quit, but I will persevere. When I want to quit, I will look at that blue stripe and kick harder - punch harder - train harder - to be my personal best.
Kihap!
Dedie
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Tae Kwon Do & PKD
As I've been working on my flexibility, I've started setting some goals. I want to be able to do the splits 3 ways: right leg in front, left leg in front and the middle splits. So far I've got the left leg in front down and almost have my right leading leg split down. The middle split is something different altogether. I can sit on the floor with my legs out in a "V", lean over touching toes and put my chest flat to the floor, but that doesn't matter in Tae Kwon Do. If I can achieve my middle splits, my kicks will be amazing.
I'm also trying to get back my gymnastics. I can do handstands, roundoffs, front walk overs - all kinds of stuff that most 38 year-olds can't. What I want to achieve is my back handspring - or a flipflop (what we called that in the '80'). In order to start working on this, I've been trying to work on my backbend. This used to be an everyday thing for me. I guess I haven't tried doing backbends since I got pregnant. I know that I did them frequently before pregnancy, because I did them in yoga - or a type of one. Here's where it gets weird.
When I do a backbend now, my body feels FREAKY. I can feel my kidneys from the fact that they are growing larger from having PKD. In my last ultrasound, my left kidney was over 17 cm. My right kidney is the smaller of the two, measuring at 16 cm. Even though the right is smaller, it's the one that is the most painful. When I do a backbend now, my kidneys feel like two water balloons in my back. I can feel them pushing into my other organs. It sucks. It's also painful.
For now, I'm going to stick to the splits, doing great kicks and learn to "sting like a bee" when I punch. I overheard my instructor telling a black belt student in class that I punched unusually hard. I liked that. When I punch that bag or target, I am punching out all of the shit that I've been through over the last 3 years. It's the most cleansing thing that I've felt in a long time.
Today I picked out a stationary punching/kicking bag for my garage. It's starting to look like a dojang in there!!! :-)
Joey, my awesome husband, is incredibly supportive and has also purchased punching gloves on his own! It see some sparring in our future!!!
Class is tomorrow, so I need some sleep.
Kihap!
Dedie
I'm also trying to get back my gymnastics. I can do handstands, roundoffs, front walk overs - all kinds of stuff that most 38 year-olds can't. What I want to achieve is my back handspring - or a flipflop (what we called that in the '80'). In order to start working on this, I've been trying to work on my backbend. This used to be an everyday thing for me. I guess I haven't tried doing backbends since I got pregnant. I know that I did them frequently before pregnancy, because I did them in yoga - or a type of one. Here's where it gets weird.
When I do a backbend now, my body feels FREAKY. I can feel my kidneys from the fact that they are growing larger from having PKD. In my last ultrasound, my left kidney was over 17 cm. My right kidney is the smaller of the two, measuring at 16 cm. Even though the right is smaller, it's the one that is the most painful. When I do a backbend now, my kidneys feel like two water balloons in my back. I can feel them pushing into my other organs. It sucks. It's also painful.
For now, I'm going to stick to the splits, doing great kicks and learn to "sting like a bee" when I punch. I overheard my instructor telling a black belt student in class that I punched unusually hard. I liked that. When I punch that bag or target, I am punching out all of the shit that I've been through over the last 3 years. It's the most cleansing thing that I've felt in a long time.
Today I picked out a stationary punching/kicking bag for my garage. It's starting to look like a dojang in there!!! :-)
Joey, my awesome husband, is incredibly supportive and has also purchased punching gloves on his own! It see some sparring in our future!!!
Class is tomorrow, so I need some sleep.
Kihap!
Dedie
Friday, March 14, 2008
Epiphany
Here's the deal. I've wasted my money on so much crap to lose weight: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, starving, eating 1200 cals & 30 grams of fat each day, no carbs, going vegetarian (lacto/ovo), weight loss hypnosis, Slim Fast, Fat Burners GALORE .... and on and on ... etc. etc. etc. I could not figure out WHY I have been so obsessed with food. Tonight I have FINALLY figured it out!!! Every time that I start another "program", I become even more obsessed with food than I already am - writing it all down, counting calories or this/that, going to meetings, going to weigh-ins, thinking about food practically every minute of the day. So, the constant obsession drives me to stressful overeating, rebellious overeating, and the kind of overeating that comes from the "screw it I'll just be fat and happy" attitude.
The perplexing thing is that I know that there were 13 years of my life where I was completely devoted to a fit lifestyle - from eating clean to enjoying daily intense and focused workouts. I thought that I had lost the ability to regain that discipline and focus. This internal struggle has been a true source of frustration and repeated disappointment for me. Quite frankly, though, I've not been able to get excited about any kind of physical activity - and boy have I tried! The 17 years that I taught aerobics and group exercise classes were the best years of my life - in terms of being passionate about physical activity, and being in the best mindset about eating for fuel (but not obsessing about it). I taught my last class in 2000.
Since starting Tae Kwon Do, I have tapped into that same place inside of me that gave me the passion and excitement of those 13 years of leading others in fitness. For the last 2 weeks, I haven't even thought about eating poorly, becasue I refuse to abuse my body with anything other than what will provide energy and nutrients to help me achieve my physical personal best for Tae Kwon Do. But the best news of all is that I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FOOD AT ALL! I have just completely lost the desire for the taste or emotion of food. I feel like I am free.
I am not going to endlessly weigh myself any longer. I am not going to be defined by a number on a scale. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to be the best me that I can be. My personal focus right now (aside from the obvious roles of wife/mother/etc) is to achieve milestones through my martial arts living - namely 1st degree black belt. The best thing about this goal is that the black belt is not the end, but merely the beginning in martial arts.
Kihap!
Dedie
The perplexing thing is that I know that there were 13 years of my life where I was completely devoted to a fit lifestyle - from eating clean to enjoying daily intense and focused workouts. I thought that I had lost the ability to regain that discipline and focus. This internal struggle has been a true source of frustration and repeated disappointment for me. Quite frankly, though, I've not been able to get excited about any kind of physical activity - and boy have I tried! The 17 years that I taught aerobics and group exercise classes were the best years of my life - in terms of being passionate about physical activity, and being in the best mindset about eating for fuel (but not obsessing about it). I taught my last class in 2000.
Since starting Tae Kwon Do, I have tapped into that same place inside of me that gave me the passion and excitement of those 13 years of leading others in fitness. For the last 2 weeks, I haven't even thought about eating poorly, becasue I refuse to abuse my body with anything other than what will provide energy and nutrients to help me achieve my physical personal best for Tae Kwon Do. But the best news of all is that I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FOOD AT ALL! I have just completely lost the desire for the taste or emotion of food. I feel like I am free.
I am not going to endlessly weigh myself any longer. I am not going to be defined by a number on a scale. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to be the best me that I can be. My personal focus right now (aside from the obvious roles of wife/mother/etc) is to achieve milestones through my martial arts living - namely 1st degree black belt. The best thing about this goal is that the black belt is not the end, but merely the beginning in martial arts.
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Breaking Boards & Humble Pie
Tonight was cool. I was the only girl in the dojang. I was also the only white belt. There were 2 other male students - both black. This is going to be interesting. It worked out well - the 2 black belts paired up together and I paired with the instructor the entire class for our pairing up drills. The class is geared to the highest level (we're the adult evening class), so I'm learning cool stuff that is usually not taught at the white belt level.
I've been feeling good - working out daily. I did research and found anaerobic and aerobic activities beneficial for martial arts. The best just also happens to be my favorite exercise to do - jumprope. I'm also doing jumping jacks, plyometric jumps of varying kinds, lifting light weights with high reps, push ups and lots of sit ups. Doing all of this in circuits keeps it fun and fresh.
My Songham 2 Form is coming along great. I worked on this again tonight. I do well in all of our kicking and punching drills. I broke a brown board tonight doing a right hand strike and then also on the left!!! Class was AMAZING up until this point.
Now for humble pie: The instructor decided for some crazy reason that I could spar him tonight. Are you serious - in my 3rd class? I don't even know anything yet!!! I sucked and felt like the biggest idiot. For the first time so far, I felt like a silly, stupid, clumsy girl and it totally sucked. I can't wait until I know what I'm doing.
On a personal note, I can already see the physical and emotional effects that these couple of weeks in Tae Kwon Do is already having in my life. I feel empowered, positive, energetic and very aware of the principals of martial arts: Honor, Integrity, Self Control, Courtesy, Respect, Loyalty. Those in my life are noticing, too!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
I've been feeling good - working out daily. I did research and found anaerobic and aerobic activities beneficial for martial arts. The best just also happens to be my favorite exercise to do - jumprope. I'm also doing jumping jacks, plyometric jumps of varying kinds, lifting light weights with high reps, push ups and lots of sit ups. Doing all of this in circuits keeps it fun and fresh.
My Songham 2 Form is coming along great. I worked on this again tonight. I do well in all of our kicking and punching drills. I broke a brown board tonight doing a right hand strike and then also on the left!!! Class was AMAZING up until this point.
Now for humble pie: The instructor decided for some crazy reason that I could spar him tonight. Are you serious - in my 3rd class? I don't even know anything yet!!! I sucked and felt like the biggest idiot. For the first time so far, I felt like a silly, stupid, clumsy girl and it totally sucked. I can't wait until I know what I'm doing.
On a personal note, I can already see the physical and emotional effects that these couple of weeks in Tae Kwon Do is already having in my life. I feel empowered, positive, energetic and very aware of the principals of martial arts: Honor, Integrity, Self Control, Courtesy, Respect, Loyalty. Those in my life are noticing, too!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Tough Morning ...
Having a disease with no cure is a weird thing. Usually I try not to think about having PKD - Polycystic Kidney Disease. I'm sure that most would call it denial, however, I just want to be "normal" and not let PKD define my life or who I am. The constant obsession over the realities of having PKD and what my future holds can be mentally exhausting. I choose to live my life in the now and in the positive.
However, today I was reading a wellness article on enzymes and started balling my eyes out. These emotions overwhelmed me within seconds of reading the word, "enzyme". Without getting into great detail about PKD, basically my body lacks an important enzyme, which is why I had that emotional response. I hate how emotional that I have become over the last 3 years of my life. I'm not sure if it's all that I've been through, child birth hormones that haven't left my body, or a combination thereof.
The bottom line: having PKD sucks. I'm going to workout to force some endorphines through my body. This will surely make me feel better. Is this a form of supression???
If you want to learn more about PKD, go to this link: www.pkdcure.org
However, today I was reading a wellness article on enzymes and started balling my eyes out. These emotions overwhelmed me within seconds of reading the word, "enzyme". Without getting into great detail about PKD, basically my body lacks an important enzyme, which is why I had that emotional response. I hate how emotional that I have become over the last 3 years of my life. I'm not sure if it's all that I've been through, child birth hormones that haven't left my body, or a combination thereof.
The bottom line: having PKD sucks. I'm going to workout to force some endorphines through my body. This will surely make me feel better. Is this a form of supression???
If you want to learn more about PKD, go to this link: www.pkdcure.org
Friday, March 7, 2008
"D" Day - Detox Day
Today is the first day of clean living for me. I have decided that if I am going to commit to a martial arts lifestyle, I can't comprise. Today I started a 10-day detox/cleanse from a program called, "Garden of Life." I know that this is going to be rough, but worth it in the end. I'm sure that I'll experience physiological signs of detox as I get off of refined sugars, caffeine (no more Starbuck's Frapps!), and processed foods. I'm sceptical about the whole idea of "detoxing", however, there is so much out in the naturopathic/wholistic industry about this, I'm going to see if I really do feel better (more energy, etc). This area of my life has not been under control for 10 years. I have got to exercise the greatest amount of discipline in order to succeed. I love to eat/drink everything that is harmful to me. I hope that through my commitment to martial arts, I'll find the desire to treat my body better - thus eating the right foods and eliminating alcohol.
Today I am also going to begin my new at home conditioning program. I have a great home gym that only gets used by my very sexy husband. He is so inspirational because he's 10 years older than me and looks my age. He has an immense commitment to himself in eating correctly and working out. I am always challenged by his unwavering commitment to personal growth and improvement. While I'm not making these life changes to please him, I hope that he does take notice. I want him to be proud of me.
I am combining aerobic conditioning with anaerobic conditioning. I love to jump rope (boxer style) and have discovered that this is one of the best conditioning activities for martial arts. By the way, one of the coolest jump ropes I've ever used is called the JUMP SNAP. It's a ropeless jumprope! It's hard to describe, so In addition to the picture above, I'm including the link: www.jumpsnap.com If you are into jumping rope and frustrated by the limitations of where you have to jump (due to your rope hitting stuff or you travel and want to jump in your hotel room ), or keep getting tripped up on your rope, check it out! One jump snap workout burns twice the calories in a 30 minute workout compared to the elyptical trainer, bicycle, and stair stepper, and burns 4 times calories walking on a treadmill at 4 mph!
This is my first priority as my weight and lack of aerobic capacity is definitely already hindering my abilities in the dojang. I was embarrassed by how much I huffed and puffed in my last class - only from doing 50 right and left consecutive round kicks to the pads. I'm also beginning weight training and practicing my forms each workout.
I wonder how long it will take for me to see results in my new lifestyle.
I'm off to drink some H20 and begin jumping!!!
Kihap!
Dedie
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
2nd Class Surprises
I am attending the Monday and Wednesday night sessions at my dojang. There was a complete new set of students in the Wednesday night class - totally different than the Monday night class. I don't know why, but this surprised me. I was also surprised that I didn't work on forms tonight. We worked how to escape a choke hold and how to put someone in a sleeper hold. We punched and kicked, did punch combo's and kick combos. We ended class with 50 round kicks per leg.
Did I mention that when I woke up today I felt like I'd been beat up from head to toe? I seriously can't find a muscle that did not hurt! Now back to class...
I realized that with different people in every class, this is very much a solo sport. There are no collaborative class goals. My progress, or lack thereof, totally rests with me. Martial Arts principles teach that the only competition lies within and striving for one's personal best each day. I'm so accustomed to competing against every peer - for grades in grad school, for the promotion at work, etc - that it's a mental struggle for me to be concerned with only myself in class. I have to constantly temper the urge that arises to be better than the higher belt lady next to me, or kick the pad like harder than the man in front of me. Through this realization alone, I know that I have so much to learn about living the principles and traditions of martial arts.
I desire to obtain the peaceful discipline of the black belts and wonder if I will ever achieve this in my life. Can a "Type A / high strung" personality truly live the martial arts principles for a sustained period of time? This is a question that I can't answer yet. Time will only tell.
I am truly thankful for this moment in my life. While the nights away from my family is a sacrifice, I think being a better "me" will enhance my ability to be a better wife and mother.
Kihap! (spirited yell in martial arts)
Dedie
Did I mention that when I woke up today I felt like I'd been beat up from head to toe? I seriously can't find a muscle that did not hurt! Now back to class...
I realized that with different people in every class, this is very much a solo sport. There are no collaborative class goals. My progress, or lack thereof, totally rests with me. Martial Arts principles teach that the only competition lies within and striving for one's personal best each day. I'm so accustomed to competing against every peer - for grades in grad school, for the promotion at work, etc - that it's a mental struggle for me to be concerned with only myself in class. I have to constantly temper the urge that arises to be better than the higher belt lady next to me, or kick the pad like harder than the man in front of me. Through this realization alone, I know that I have so much to learn about living the principles and traditions of martial arts.
I desire to obtain the peaceful discipline of the black belts and wonder if I will ever achieve this in my life. Can a "Type A / high strung" personality truly live the martial arts principles for a sustained period of time? This is a question that I can't answer yet. Time will only tell.
I am truly thankful for this moment in my life. While the nights away from my family is a sacrifice, I think being a better "me" will enhance my ability to be a better wife and mother.
Kihap! (spirited yell in martial arts)
Dedie
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Day 1 - Doing it for me
Today is a monumental day for me. I am coming back from the dead - or so it feels like. I have just returned from taking my first Tae Kwon Do class and it was truly amazing. While I have fleeting pangs of guilt from committing to an activity that takes me away from home (and my 3 year old daughter) twice per week, I feel like a part of me that died long ago has awakened.
I have lived the last 3 years of my life dedicated to my work, my family and managing life with a kidney disease with no cure - Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). I have allowed these "labels" to define me. I've experienced defeat and pain that I didn't know was possible - and remained in that place for far too long. The agony of defeat can really change a person. I know this because I am so changed that I don't even recognize who I am any longer. And actually ... expanding any further on this is a different post altogether, and not one that I will tackle today.
Back to tonight ...
When I sat in front of my new sacred place, the dojo where I will train each week, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched a class full of black belts (varying degrees) sparring, practicing forms, and perfecting their kicks, blocks and hand strikes. I was in awe and made a commitment to myself in that moment. I will not quit. I will live in the spirit of Tae Kwon Do and the principles that Tae Kwon Do is built upon: discipline, honor, respect, courtesy, self control, integrity and the pursuit of excellence. The goal for most is to achieve the black belt. For me, it is the pursuit of personal excellence.
My first class was amazing. My instructor and 4 other students were extremely supportive. I was thrown right into the mix of what the class is already working toward. The thrill of the night was a moment when I practiced a hand strike that enabled me to break a board on the first strike. On the outside I kept my composure while on the inside I was screaming, "You go, girl!!!" I can't wait to go back Wednesday.
Tonight I am alive again! And now I'll sign off so that I can research Songahm Tae Kwon Do to learn more about the history of my sport. (God, it feels great to say something like that!)
Kyung Yeh (Korean for "bow"),
Dedie
P.S. My husband just walked by, stopped, backed up and told me how sexy I am in my uniform (dobak). What a bonus that I had not considered before!!!
I have lived the last 3 years of my life dedicated to my work, my family and managing life with a kidney disease with no cure - Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). I have allowed these "labels" to define me. I've experienced defeat and pain that I didn't know was possible - and remained in that place for far too long. The agony of defeat can really change a person. I know this because I am so changed that I don't even recognize who I am any longer. And actually ... expanding any further on this is a different post altogether, and not one that I will tackle today.
Back to tonight ...
When I sat in front of my new sacred place, the dojo where I will train each week, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched a class full of black belts (varying degrees) sparring, practicing forms, and perfecting their kicks, blocks and hand strikes. I was in awe and made a commitment to myself in that moment. I will not quit. I will live in the spirit of Tae Kwon Do and the principles that Tae Kwon Do is built upon: discipline, honor, respect, courtesy, self control, integrity and the pursuit of excellence. The goal for most is to achieve the black belt. For me, it is the pursuit of personal excellence.
My first class was amazing. My instructor and 4 other students were extremely supportive. I was thrown right into the mix of what the class is already working toward. The thrill of the night was a moment when I practiced a hand strike that enabled me to break a board on the first strike. On the outside I kept my composure while on the inside I was screaming, "You go, girl!!!" I can't wait to go back Wednesday.
Tonight I am alive again! And now I'll sign off so that I can research Songahm Tae Kwon Do to learn more about the history of my sport. (God, it feels great to say something like that!)
Kyung Yeh (Korean for "bow"),
Dedie
P.S. My husband just walked by, stopped, backed up and told me how sexy I am in my uniform (dobak). What a bonus that I had not considered before!!!
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